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What are the boundaries with a partner's mates?

The friends of your boy or girlfriend are a bit of a minefield. You want them to like you, you want to like them; but you don’t want anyone liking anyone else too much.

The line between ‘getting on with’ and ‘getting on too well with’ your partner’s mates is a fine one; and cross it at your peril - as poor Kim Kardashian discovered on a recent outing in NYC with her rapper beau, Kanye West.
Bumping into one of Kanye’s male friends in the street, the couple both smiled, said hello. Then, as most people (well, certainly most celebs) do when they greet each other, Kim offered him her cheek for a peck.
To anyone else watching, it was entirely innocent, sexless and normal.
But to Kanye - standing two feet behind them, glowering with jealousy - it was clearly anything but.
On one hand, you could say he’s massively over-reacting, that there was obviously nothing to worry about, and that any man envious of his mate having the slightest of physical contact with his girlfriend is clearly bonkers.
But on the other hand…. Well, maybe there’s some method to his madness?
Because of course it’s nice when your partner gets on very well with your mates, but it can be a little uncomfortable too, can’t it? It can make you wonder if anything else is going on, if they’d rather be with them than you.
After all, you chose your mates because they’re great people, you chose your partner because they’re a great person; so why wouldn’t all that greatness end up being attracted to each other?
And let’s admit it, you’ve probably had a crush on one of your partner’s, or ex’s, mates at some point too. Maybe you’d been spending a lot of time with them; maybe you were in a bit of a rut with your partner; maybe they were just really, really good-looking, or maybe…
Actually maybe it doesn’t matter what the reason was.
What does matter is the word ‘crush’. Because the nature of crushes is that they come and go, ebb and flow. They add a bit of excitement to the inevitable lulls of a long-term relationship - but once those lulls inevitably pick up again, they’re quickly forgotten.
So Kanye, relax.
Even if your mate wasn’t kissing Kim to say hello, but to satisfy some raging crush, it’s nothing to stand there making angry faces about. Just remember that mates are there to stay, girlfriends and boyfriends are (hopefully) there to stay, but crushes will all soon pass.

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