Get to know your matches, register for free now! Sign me up GO

What women mean when they say

First-daters everywhere can relate to a famous scene in Woody Allen’s 70s movie Annie Hall. While Woody and Annie flirt, their real thoughts are revealed in subtitles such as: “I hope he doesn't turn out to be a schmuck like the others,” and “I wonder what she looks like naked.”

Don’t you wish that life was like Annie Hall, and the opposite sex came with subtitles? That way, you’d be able to tell whether they’re really interested, whether they’re bored or whether they think your bum looks big in this.

Part 1: On a date

She says: “Let’s sit over there, it’s less noisy.”
She means: Let’s sit over here, the light is far more flattering to my skin.

She says: “You’re quite different from how I expected.”
She means: . Please let me go home now and save us both a wasted evening.

“Can I buy you a drink?”
She means: Can you buy me a drink, please? Champagne cocktail would be fine. I’m nipping off to the loo now, and I expect my drink to be on the table when I get back. Mm’kay?

“Oh yeah, my ex…”
She means: I am not over my ex, and I have more baggage issues than Paris Hilton at the carousel in Terminal 5. My ex is going to be a regular topic of conversation, so get used to it, boy.

She says: “What do you fancy eating?”
She means: Do you fancy me?

“I’ve got the DVD box set of that!”
She means: I’m not just into diets and make-up, honest. Ask me about the last episode of The Sopranos. Come on, test me.

“Have you got any housemates?”
She means: Are you still doing the houseshare thing or do you own your own place? Please say you own your own place. Please. If you turn out to be another manchild I think I will cry.

 “I’ve not been single for long. I’d make a terrible girl/boyfriend at the moment.”
She means: I am trying to let you down gently. Please don’t make it any harder.

 “OK, this is my bus. Really nice meeting you, I’ll be in touch.”
She means: I’m not sure if I fancy you, but I’ll hedge my bets by being slightly mysterious. If you text me on the way home, I may appreciate the gesture. But if you ring me up on the way home, I will take out a restraining order against you.

“OK, this is my bus. You going the same way?”
She means: Please don’t think I’m a slapper if we have sex tonight, please don’t think I’m a slapper if we have sex tonight, please don’t think I’m a slapper if we have sex tonight (repeat to fade).



She says: “I love New York. Let’s go there one day.”
She means: Oh no, I've started the 'couple talk'. Please let someone drop a tray of plates so that I am no longer the biggest loser in the room.


She says: Hi, are you Paul? You look quite different from your photo!
She means: Can I go home now and save us both a wasted evening?

She says: I’m so sorry I’m late. The train was delayed.

She means: I didn’t leave the house until 10 minutes ago because it took me an hour to get my hair like this.

She says: Let’s sit over here, it’s a bit less rowdy.
She means: Let’s sit over here, the light is far more flattering to my skin.

She says: Um, can I buy you a drink?
She means: I’ll have a vodka and slimline tonic, please.

She says: Have you got any brothers and sisters?
She means: I’m getting bored, so I’m killing time by asking obvious questions.

She says: So you’ve got a younger brother, right…? What’s he like?
She means: I want you to kiss me.

She says: You must think I’m a right chatterbox.
She means: Please for God’s sake will you say something? I’m doing all the work here.

She says: My phone’s ringing… is it OK if I get that?
She means: At last. This is the friend I asked to ring me with an excuse to escape, just in case I needed it. See ya, fella.

She says: My phone’s ringing… never mind, I’ll deal with that later.
She means: Kiss me hard on the mouth, you rippling stallion.

She says: Oh yeah, my ex…
She means: I am not over my ex, and I am dealing with more baggage issues than Heathrow Terminal 5.

She says: I need to get away by 10, because I’ve got a friend staying over.
She means: Please let me leave now. Please. I’m already more bored than I ever thought it was possible to be.

She says: I’m getting another drink… same again?
She means: I’d better get a snog off you later, mister. And it had better be a good one.

(He says: Do you fancy going on somewhere afterwards?)
She says: Um… er, OK, sure.
She means: Do I have to? I’m being polite and I hate myself for it.

(He says: Do you fancy going on somewhere afterwards?)
She says: Ooh I know this club round the corner…
She means: Aces. Let’s get condoms from the all-night garage.

Back to home