Dos and Don'ts
Purely
Practical Tips (For Dating On and Off-line)
Whether you're off on your first blind date set up by a friend or you've found your love interest on Match.com, your personal safety should remain priority #1. We've compiled a list of guidelines to help you stay safe.
DO guard your identity
Even in person, you wouldn't give your number out to just anyone. Don't share your real name, personal phone numbers, place of work, home address or any other identifying information while chatting or emailing until you are comfortable doing so.
Tip: Never post personal contact information in your profile. Don't risk having this information fall into the wrong hands.
DO remain anonymous until you feel safe and ready to explore other options.
Match.com gives you control over your online dating
experience, and allows you to protect your true identity until you choose to reveal it.
Example: Sometimes,
instead of asking for information, a person simply provides his or her phone
number early in the email exchange. That doesn't obligate you to use it.
You might say something like, "I'm more
comfortable just exchanging email for the time being."
DO use a third-party,
anonymous email address.
Match.com uses a "doubleblind" emailing system that conceals
true email addresses. Even so, hackers can breach nearly any technology. As an
added safety measure, set up a third-party email address expressly for dating
purposes and forward your Match.com emails there instead of to your personal
email box. Make sure you turn off any
signatures or identifying information in your e-mail.
Tip: Consider
using a P.O. Box for snail mail.
DO be careful when using a sexy name.
Keep in mind that, while using sexual connotations in your
email address or username might get you noticed, it probably won't attract the
type of person you'd like to share a relationship with-or even a conversation
for that matter.
Tip: Don't
include your real name or city of residence within your email address or in
your username.
DO use a current
picture and be truthful in your description of yourself in your Match.com
profile.
Misleading descriptions or photos can result in angry
feelings and can end a relationship before it begins. In the long run, honesty is
your best relationship tool.
DO trust your gut.
Immediately quit corresponding when you feel unsure or threatened.
DO block abusers.
Match.com STRONGLY encourages you to block any member who
behaves in an abusive manner and to report the behavior to Match.com.
Examples of abuse include:
- Married people or minors using the service
- Members sending harassing or offensive emails
- Members behaving inappropriately after meeting in person
- Criminals or other "shady" characters using the service
- Fraudulent registration or profiles
- Spam or solicitation*
- Copyright infringement
- Members asking you for money or donations
- Any other violation of Match.com's policies
*Solicitation is an offer to sell something to
someone. Our Terms of Use strictly prohibit the use of the site service for the
purposes of solicitation. Please notify Match.com immediately if another member
sends you links to pay-to-view porn sites or includes instructions on how to
call a 1-900 telephone number. Additionally, report abuse in the form of
invitations to join other singles' sites, emails about modeling opportunities
or attempts to sell merchandise or services.
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Meeting Off-line
Think Safety First!
A first meeting with any new love
interest can be exciting - and most first meetings are perfectly safe, but it's
always smart to take basic precautions. Trust your instincts. And be
sure to keep the following guidelines in mind:
DO meet in public.
On first meetings, ALWAYS arrange to rendezvous in a populated, public
place. Never meet in a private home (or in a hotel room) or in a remote location.
DO tell a friend.
Tell at least one friend or family member who you are
meeting, where you are going and when you expect to return. Let your date know
your meeting is not a secret.
Tip: Contact your
friend before and after the date or ask your friend to contact you at a
predetermined time.
DO stay sober.
Refrain from drinking excessively, as it could impair your ability to make good decisions and may put you at risk.
Tip: Stick to
nonalcoholic drinks when meeting someone for the first time.
DON'T leave home
without your cell.
If you have a mobile phone, take it with you on dates. Most
cell phones are can be used to call 911.
Tip: Make sure
911 services are available in your area. If not, know your emergency number.
DON'T ask the other
person to pick you up.
Get yourself to and from the date, even if you have to have
a friend to drive you or take a taxi.
DON'T leave personal
belongings or drinks unattended.
Don't risk having your personal information stolen. The same
goes for your drink - don't
risk having it tampered with.
Tip: If you must
leave your drink unattended to go to the restroom, order another drink when you
return.
DON'T succumb to the
temptation to take first dates to your home (or go to his or her home).
Stay in a public place, even if you are pressured. If you
feel pressured, end the meeting and leave at once.
Tip: If you are
followed to where you parked your car, stop and hail a taxi or go into another
public place to use the telephone to phone a friend. Come back later with your
friend to get your car.
DO set up a next date, if you are ready and feel comfortable.
And DO remember to follow all of these tips on
subsequent meetings, until you feel confident with your new friend. If the
other person is sincerely interested in you, he or she will want you to feel
safe.
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Long
Distance Meetings 6 Sensible Safety Suggestions
We've come a long way, baby - literally. Fifty years ago, the idea of "courting" someone
who lived in the next town over (much less across the globe) was pretty much
unheard of. Today, technology has made a mud puddle out of an ocean. But, while
they may be increasingly common occurrences, long-distance first meetings pose special
concerns. Always keep safety at the forefront and bear in mind the following
tips:
DO stay in a hotel.
If you can't afford it, don't go. NEVER stay at the other
person's home on your first visit.
DO use taxis to get to and from the airport.
If the other person wants to greet you at the airport - great! It shows
interest and it's polite. But DO NOT get into a personal vehicle with
someone you are meeting for the first time.
Tip: Arrange a
public rendezvous location and time, then take a taxi - alone - to
your hotel.
DO keep your hotel location private.
Until you are completely certain of the a person's intentions,
don't tell them exactly where you're staying.
Tip: To keep from
disclosing your location on caller ID, contact your date on your cell en route
to your rendezvous.
DO keep valuables in the hotel or room safe.
Don't take them or wear them on your date.
DON'T forget to keep family and friends posted.
Always tell someone who you are meeting, where you are going
and when you plan to return.
Tip: Let your date know that your whereabouts are not a secret to your friends and family.
DON'T forget to use all our dating tips.
Read additional tips in each of our safety tips sections.
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Red Flags
5 Signs You Might Want to Steer Clear
"If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is." Your mom
was right on target with this bit of advice. Remember that, when it comes to
your personal safety, it's not only OK to snoop, it's your duty. Here are a few
additional guidelines:
DO listen to your
gut.
If the other person can only meet or talk to you at odd
hours, they may be keeping a secret. If that person cannot be honest with you from the start, you cannot count on them to be forthright in the future.
Example: If you talk on the phone and a person speaks in hushed tones or "has to go" all of a sudden, they may not be as single as they claim to be.
DO get as many
details as possible about the other person BEFORE meeting off-line.
Don't forget to share some of those details with a friend or
family member.
DO a little digging
Because privacy is of the
highest importance at Match.com, we do not require our members to submit to
background checks. We do, however, encourage members to do their own
research on potential love matches including asking questions, utilizing
Internet search engines (try
www.ask.com)
and most importantly, use common sense. You can also ask your date to submit to
a background check, but be careful—a background check is only as good as
the information that is provided to the background checker. So if you're not
POSITIVE your date has given you the correct information, you can't rely on the
background check results.
DO be wary of someone
who is vague, talks in circles or answers questions with other questions.
Some people ARE very private, but if you're about to take
your relationship to the next level, this isn't the time for reservation.
DO proceed with
caution if someone pledges undying love after a first meeting - or even after several conversations online.
Lust at first sight is alive and well, but love is,
generally, an acquired feeling.
DON'T let love rob
you blind.
Beware of someone who mentions how broke he or she is.
Also be cautious if he claims he "just got laid off from work," or that her
financial adviser "scammed her out of all her money."
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