Michael Valmont is a London-based leading dating coach. He specialises in helping people become their most attractive self, improving their dating skills, improving self-image, self-esteem and confidence.
You only get one chance to make a first impression, and that’s never truer than on a first date. Learn 5 top tips to master the art of the first impression and make the most of that crucial time on your next date:
1. Look Like You On Your Profile
This isn’t full blown ‘catfishing’ , but definitely a no-no regardless on dating sites! If you’ve only shown your date some overly-filtered photos from 10 years and 5 stone ago then that’s not really honest. Make sure you’re using realistic and recent photographs, so they can see your true fabulous self.
‘Look like you’ means to dress in a way that’s reflective of who you are; not only does but you’ll feel much more comfortable too, and that shows in your photos.
Whether heels and ultra-glamorous dresses, shorts and sandals or jeans and a shirt are part of your go-to wardrobe, make sure your profile reflects the things you love. If you haven’t been skiing in a decade, probably don’t include those pics!
Looking like you ensures that you won’t unexpectedly surprise your date, and give them immediate doubts about your truthfulness.
This may sound like a basic tip, but you’d be amazed at how often it’s overlooked. If on the inside you’re bottling up nervous energy and mild panic, on the outside you’re more than likely have a less than approachable look on your face.
To rectify this, as daft as you may feel, practice smiling on the way to the date – this has a psychological benefit of lifting your mood too – and make sure you’re smiling as you approach your date. Until your nerves fully calm down, you may have to mentally remind yourself to smile every so often.
3. Question & Answer
Two of the worst conversational sins you can commit are:
- Not asking interesting questions
- Answering questions poorly
To atone for the former, make sure you’re actively listening to your date and ask relevant questions to the topic. They’re telling you about a hobby? Ask how long they’ve been doing it, or where they do that.
As for the latter sin, most people don’t even realise that they’re committing this one. So what qualifies a bad answer? Any answer that’s vague, abrupt, or kills the conversation. One-word answers fit the bill, as do cagey responses. Keep responses open, honest, and full of potential points that your date can pick up on. “Good” isn’t good enough!
4. Watch Your Manners
Most dates involve passive interactions with other people. Whether it’s the bar staff, waiters, or even a cashier, these short side-conversations say a lot about you. Whilst it will be painfully obvious if you’re going too over-the-top to impress, do make a little extra effort to be on your best behaviour.
5. Well-Considered Compliments
Although it may seem slightly alien, do make the effort to compliment your date first. The trick to giving a charming compliment is to make sure it’s honest. A simple “your dress looks lovely” works, if your date does look lice. Don’t wait to be complimented by them and then replicate one back, it holds a lot less weight and could even seem disingenuous.