Habits, traits and behaviours that could be repelling potential matches and hampering your chances of finding love.
Revealing your romantic agenda too early
Seeming overly eager to pin down the ins and outs of the relationship after only a couple of dates, can be especially off-putting – particularly for men who generally prefer to take things slower. You may be in a rush to fall in love, settle down and have babies, but having the “Where is this going?” talk before you’ve had a proper chance to get to know each other is foolhardy and practically guaranteed to scare off any potential mates. Be prepared to give it some time before broaching this delicate subject.
It’s never prudent to live beyond your means and go on dates to clubs, bars, restaurants and other venues you can’t afford but picking the cheapest place and then producing a 2 for 1 voucher deal (especially on a first date) is a definite no-no. Sure you might save a tenner but it’ll cost you in the long run. Do you really want your date to think you’re a cheap skate? The man is usually expected to pick up the bill, but that doesn’t mean that ladies shouldn’t at least offer to pay or go halves. Avoid being seen as someone who never puts their hand in their pocket to pay for anything. Never let your date to feel as though they’re being taken advantage of financially.
Seeming too independent
Now here’s a funny one. Have you ever considered that you might seem so damn together that you’re way too intimidating to approach? Prospective partners could be feeling challenged by your all-round success and fabulousness. If you earn your own money, have your own place, drive your own car and live what seems a very full life they probably can’t see how or where they’d fit into your life. So it’s up to you to show them that you still have room for a fulfilling and lasting relationship too. That means letting them see your vulnerable side from time to time.
Bad body language
If you’re guilty of not making eye contact, hunching your shoulders and having your head bowed, you’re giving off all the wrong signals to a prospective mate. Your body language is literally screaming “I’m shy, nervous and awkward and really don’t’ want to be here.” Even if that’s how you’re feeling on the inside, it’s possible to trick yourself in to behaving and feeling more confident. First up smile and make eye contact. Secondly, draw those shoulders back and lift your chin. See, you look more confident already. Remember to breathe.
Always being late
Nobody is going to mind too much if you’re a few minutes late once in a while because of a missed bus or other unavoidable mishap, but recurrent lateness is likely to annoy your anyone you’ve been seeing for a while. Not being able to get it together to just be somewhere on time reveals a host of negative qualities that most people would prefer to avoid. Firstly it shows a lack of organisational skills and secondly it shows a lack of regard for the person whose time it is you’re wasting. So either buy a watch and get it together or risk letting Mr/Miss Perfect slip through your fingers. The choice is yours.
You may have a lot to say and be keen to talk about yourself as much as possible in order to convey everything there is to know about you in as much detail as possible as soon as possible. But remember it’s important to ask questions and listen too. Not many people enjoy one-sided conversations where they’re forced to just sit and listen to another person bang on and on and on and on and on. If you want the relationship to work, take a break from all the “me me me” anecdotes and allow your date to tell you about themselves too. You might learn something.