Beyonce has always been the feisty spokeswoman of powerful, independent ladies. So when she gives dating advice, we all stop and listen. Queen B has recommended online-dating to her song-writing colleague Ester Dean – and told her to get on to Match.com to learn how to talk to guys. Want to follow her counsel? Here’s Match.com’s very own dating expert Kate Taylor with the 5 top tips on chatting your way to love.
TALK TO NEW PEOPLE Beyonce is spot on that talking to new people will boost your dating confidence. Research has found that regularly talking to strangers and acquaintances is actually BETTER for your confidence than confiding in friends; you present yourself in a more positive way to people you don’t know well, and eventually you’ll start seeing yourself in this shiny, new light.
START WITH THOSE WHO ARE DEFINITELY INTERESTED If talking to online daters feels scary, start by simply replying to people who have messaged you. Even if you don’t feel you’re a “match”, focus on exchanging fun, friendly emails. First of all, without the pressure of perfection, you’re less likely to panic. Secondly, you know people who’ve contacted you are interested, so you’ll get nice replies back. And thirdly, you might be surprised how much you like them when you start chatting.
MAKE THE FIRST MOVE Next, work up to sending messages to the people you think are SUPER hot! Again, don’t panic – you don’t have to send a long, perfectly written message. In fact, our research has found that the optimum length for a first email is just 50 characters. (Shorter first messages get more replies.) Type out a brief message that is conversational – read it out loud to check it’s something you’d naturally say in conversation – and press send. You are rocking like Beyonce!
SEND LOTS OF MESSAGES Don’t stop at one message – send many! Online dating works best when you reach out to several people at once. It stops you waiting by your inbox for replies, and helps you keep each interaction light and fun. Find 10 people whose profiles you love, and say Hi. Or actually, say, “How’s it going?”, as research found that’s the opening line most likely to spark a reply.
GET FLIRTING Use your online confidence to boost your interactions with people everywhere you go. Smile sensational at strangers, flirt with your barista, even break the first law of commuting and strike up a conversation on the train. Every small, brief chat will boost your self-esteem. And when you get your first date, you won’t be tongue-tied anymore, you’ll be fierce.