Turn-offs for women
Talking to our boobs – Er hello? Our eyes are up here you know.
Filthy bathrooms and toilets – if you’re going to invite us back to your place at least have the decency to pop some bleach down the loo and scrub the scum off the bath. We’re afraid we might catch something.
Mama’s boys – frankly, we’re pretty worried that your mum still does your washing, cleaning and cooking for you. Don’t expect us to!
Smelly feet – contrary to what you might think, it’s not absolutely hilarious to wiggle your smelly feet right under our noses. It’s gross.
Farting in bed – yep even more gross. And don’t even think about trying to blame it on us.
Stinginess – oh relax, we’re not after your life savings, it would just be nice if you offered to pick up the bill now and again.
Indecisiveness – so you’ve asked us out on a date – great. Now have the confidence to plan one without asking for approval every step of the way. We like a man who can take control.
Droning on and on about sport – we listened politely the first time but now that you know it’s not really our thing, why are you still boring us silly? It’s just plain rude.
Nose and ear hair – sorry we know you can’t help it but eeeew. Wanna borrow our tweezers?
Snoring – it sounds like a fog horn and we need our beauty sleep. Shut up, shut up, shut up!
Eyeing up other women – hey mister, you’re out with us, so stop drooling over every other woman in the place and pay us some respect.
Selective hearing – don’t pretend you didn’t know we’re going to my parent’s for dinner tonight. We told you so last week.