Breaking up with someone is one of the most stressful life changes you can go through. You might have been together for years, or a few months, but it’s never easy. Help and advice for how to move forward with your life are rife! There’s a ton of questions when you end a relationship: What do I do now? Who do I turn to? And how exactly do you get over an ex you’re still in love with? You could scan the internet for hours and hours, reading articles and studies, but before you get to Googling, we’ve collected the top 10 ways to get over your ex.
1. Go and see your friends
Seeing your friends isn’t just for someone to complain to, it can get you back on your feet. Getting dressed up and going out or staying in pyjamas talking all night, hanging out with your friends will help you regain the confidence that you deserve to have! Don’t be stressed about taking up too much of their time either – that’s what friends are for and if you’d do it for them, then you should expect the same when you need support.
2. Let go of the fantasy
How do you get over an ex when you still hold them in high esteem? The key is to let go of the unreality of your relationship. Relationships usually end for a reason and there’s normally a good few resentments and moments of hurt feelings that have ended up in the eventual breakup. But we get it, you don’t see it that way yet. Most people don’t want the relationship they had back, they want the relationship they thought they could have back – the ideal relationship that in fact, never existed.
Psychologists recommend that you write down every painful thing that happened during the relationship and read them over until you can come to terms with the idea that your relationship wasn’t perfect. Even though this is difficult to do at first, it will pay off.
3. Break your routine
The best way to get over an ex you’re still in love with is to change up your routine. You need to build up a new life and that takes time. So, take your time and try to implement one or two changes to your routine every couple of days or so. Here are a few examples of how to break up with your old routine:
- Buy some new sheets for your bed
- Go to a coffee shop you’ve always admired from the outside
- Listen to a new playlist/podcast
- Read a book from a new author
4. Delete, delete, delete
A quick and easy one – but never painless to actually do. Delete them from your social media, phone and wardrobe.
5. Focus on the positives
It might not seem like it right now, but the breakup was for the best. You’re free from the bickering, arguing and resentment, from the time spent doing nothing sitting on the sofa and the annoyances of having to live with someone else (whether you moved in together or not). If you’re wondering how long it takes to get over an ex, then it only takes as long as it takes you to fill your time with other things!
6. Self care is key
Also known as: raise your serotonin. When you go through a breakup, you lose the dopamine and norepinephrine that you experience when you’re in love – they replace your natural serotonin after it drops – so raising your serotonin levels is super important. Get out into the sunshine (if it’s sunny), exercise (if that’s your thing) or have a long bath. Try experimenting with some new activities and see how they make you feel.
7. Start a new project
Linked to your serotonin-raising endeavour, you can curb the effects of a breakup by starting a new project. Think: pottery, yoga, baking, reading the stars, beekeeping or beer brewing. How to get over an ex? Forget about them by getting deep into a new hobby.
8. Take a holiday
If you can afford it! Picture yourself sitting on a beach, sipping on a cocktail (or mocktail) and listening to some relaxing music. What were you upset about again?
Or perhaps take a more adventurous holiday so you don’t have time to mope around – you’re too busy living your best life to even think about your past relationships.
9. Don’t rush dating
Take the time to get over your relationship before dating. It’s important to be ready and confident in yourself before you start onboarding other people into your life. Getting into a rebound relationship is risky business, you can end up focusing less on how to get over your ex and more on distracting yourself by using someone else – it’s not a good look.
10. When you are ready, Match is here for you
First things first, take Match’s quiz on ‘Are you over your ex?’. If all signs point to yes, it might be time to start dating again. After a difficult breakup, the idea of starting to date again can be daunting to say the least, but allowing your dating life to fall by the wayside is also not healthy. Check out our dating advice on breakups and more and register with Match for free today.