Breaking up and moving on

Good friends will always be there for you. Kat pictured with her friend before a fun night out.

Break ups are tough. No-one has fun, whether you are the breaker or the broken, but there is definitely a worse side to be on. The awful thing is that every break up is different, and so no manner of previous relationship history can prepare you for it. From my own recent experiences, I’ve drawn some valuable lessons that I will promptly forget the next time this happens:

DON’T go back and scrutinise everything you said/did/wore in the last days/weeks/months on a micro-level. It’s not only futile, it’s destructive. (Unless you did something really bad, in which case maybe take a look at what’s going on….)

DON’T listen to sad songs. Just don’t do it, it’s indulgent and singing alt-J with streaming eyes is just something that you don’t want to be caught doing.

DON’T listen to people who tell you their stories of getting back with their partners after breaking up with them. They are trying to be helpful, but all they are doing is fuelling the raging fires of your emotions.

DO NOT EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES call or text them when you are drunk. It will 100% make you feel rubbish.

STOP thinking they will want you back.

DO listen to your friends tell you what a catch you are.

DO things that make you feel better about yourself. Juicing, baking, trips to the zoo, yoga, paintballing…whatever makes you feel happy. You’ll find yourself with extra time post-breakup, so don’t wallow, do something fun instead.

REMEMBER those days when you hadn’t seen your housemates for weeks as you’d been staying at your boyfriend’s place. And how they are still there for you.

DO get back in the game. Everyone is different, but sometimes the only way to move on is to meet new people.

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