Accountability: how to stay in check when Christian dating
If you’re anything like me, you will probably cringe when you hear the words ‘accountability partner’. To me, ‘accountability’ just sounds like yet another Christian phrase ready to be pulled out of the bag whilst in a deep conversation with my pastor. But what might seem like just a buzzword may actually be a very important factor in your relationship.
God did not intend for us to bear things alone and accountability is a way of staying on track when living out godly relationships. Having someone who you can ‘check in’ with every now and then to see how your relationship is going is a good way of making sure that you are staying true to your beliefs in your relationship. You might be concerned that your relationship should be private and think that it’s not honouring to your partner to go around spouting all the ins and outs of the last conversation you had. You’re not wrong in believing that. But guess what folks – confession is biblical.
‘Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.’ – James 5:16
‘Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.’ – Galatians 6:2
Why is accountability in online Christian dating important?
The internet can be an incredibly powerful thing. It can enable us to instantly connect with people, stay in touch from thousands of miles away and foster relationships with people we’ve never met. See Match’s guide on Christian dating online for advice on how to get started. When we’re thinking about accountability in terms of online dating, there’s a few things to consider.
- The boundaries are not the same.
When you’re meeting people online, you might not act like you do in real life. They might not act like they do in real life. When chatting to someone online, you can take an extra few minutes to formulate your response, so you might feel inclined to say things you normally wouldn’t. When you’re engaging with someone new, take a moment to think about whether what you are saying or how you are behaving is honouring God. Do your actions represent what God believes about you and the person you are talking to – that you are both highly valued and treasured as children of Christ?
- It’s more intentional.
Online dating is more accelerated than if you met someone randomly, at church, at work or in a bar. You know that the person you’re talking to is looking for a relationship because you can see they ticked that box on their profile.
If you don’t currently have someone acting as an accountability partner, I would encourage you to seek someone you trust and respect to become one. Choose someone whose advice you trust and who you’d feel comfortable in confiding in. It might seem like a bit of a buzzkill, but they’re not there to ruin your fun. Relationships can be difficult to navigate at the best of times and an accountability partner can help you to get the most out of your relationship – emotionally, spiritually and physically – in a way that is pleasing to and blessed by God.
Discover how to follow more Christian principles whilst dating.
More Precious is a blog that includes contributions from girls all over the world, sharing stories of their journeys of faith and their walk with God. Their vision is to encourage girls from a young age to be strong and distinctive in their Christian faith throughout their most formative years. They want to build up girls to place God at the heart of their decision-making and entrust Him with their fears and insecurities, their hopes and dreams. Find out more about on MorePrecious.