Actions speak louder than words, but there’s a catch. Your actions may speak loud and clear to everyone else, but not to you – and that’s why body language is such a big deal in the dating game. Your body language could be drowning out your conversation, and you may have no idea what it’s saying.
If you want more control over the signals you’re sending out, first you need to know what they are. Take our quiz and find out what your actions are saying.
1. How often do you make eye contact with strangers?
a. As often as possible. Steady eye contact is incredibly sexy.
b. Fairly regularly, if you like the look of someone.
c. All the time! You smile and chat with everyone.
d. As seldom as possible.
2. A good-looking stranger is staring at you across a crowded room. How do you respond?
a. Hold their gaze until they’re weak at the knees.
b. Smile, look away… then peek to see if they’re still looking.
c. Smile delightedly and head over for a chat.
d. Look away.
3. You’ve arrived alone at a party full of people you barely know. How do you find someone to talk to?
a. Scan for the best-looking face, catch their eye and cheekily raise your drink to them.
b. Stick to the kitchen, where it’s easy to get into random conversations.
c. Flit from person to person, trying to find someone friendly.
d. Sit sipping your drink. Let them come to you.
4. You’re attracted to someone’s profile on a dating site. How do you let them know you’re interested?
a. Email to say that you’d love to find out what their skin smells like.
b. Email to ask about a couple of interesting travel experiences they mention in their profile.
c. Email a lengthy introduction about yourself and your dreams.
d. Wait for them to get in touch.
5. It’s your first date with someone new, and you’re definitely keen. What are your hands doing?
a. Touching your date’s thigh.
b. Briefly touching their arm when they say something funny.
c. Twirling your hair and scratching various bits of your face.
c. You’re sitting on them.
6. As your date chats, you lean towards them. Why?
a. You’re helpless in the face of surging sexual chemistry.
b. No idea… you just seem to be connecting.
c. So that you can chatter into their ear. Anyway, it’s what all the body language articles say to do.
d. There’s someone barging into you from behind.
7. What’s the most personal piece of information you’d give on a first date with someone you like?
a. Which part of their body you find most attractive.
b. Your phone number.
c. How many children you’d like to have, your favourite baby names and why you shouldn’t drink red wine (it triggers an awful rash on your chest).
d. Your name.
8. You’re at the end of your chatty, flirty first date, and you’d really like to see them again. As you say goodbye, you…
a. Ask if they fancy coffee at your place.
b. Give them your number, have a quick kiss and head home alone with a big grin on your face.
c. Tell them a long story about how your previous date gave you a number that turned out to be unlisted, so you must have written it down wrong. Better get it right this time, eh?
d. Disappear into the night.
9. It’s lunchtime the day after your date, and you haven’t had a text or phone call yet. What do you do?
a. Give them a booty call.
b. Text them to say how much you enjoyed meeting them last night.
c. Ring to tell them all about your nightmare journey to work this morning, and to ask what they’re doing for lunch.
d. Wait for them to call you.
10. It’s two months after that first date, and you’re still seeing each other. One evening you’re at the pub together when an attractive stranger catches your eye and smiles flirtatiously. How do you respond?
a. Flirt back, and slip the stranger your phone number while your date is out of sight.
b. Lift your eyebrows as if to say “you’d be lucky” way, and plant a kiss on your date.
c. Cling to your date, but find yourself throwing an occasional “gosh, you like me?” glance at the handsome stranger.
d. Roll your eyes.
What your answers mean…
Mostly A: Your signals should be X-rated
There’s nothing wrong with showing that you’re attracted to someone, and there’s nothing wrong with getting frisky on a first date if you’re both keen. But beware: your strong sexual vibe can often scare people away, and could give the impression that you’re only after one thing. Of course you should be yourself, but if you want a lasting relationship you might want to save the thigh-stroking for after the first date.
Mostly B: You send out all the right signals
Your body language is full of self-confidence, likeability and just the right amount of interest. You’re not afraid to let people know that you’re attracted to them, but your approach is never needy or overtly sexual. This winning aura of relaxed confidence is a tough thing to learn, so it probably comes naturally to you. Use it wisely!
Mostly C: You’re like an over-eager puppy
It’s nice to be friendly, but there’s a point at which too much friendly interest gets annoying – and it can backfire. At best, people may read your signals as “Please like me;” at worst, your signals may say: “I have stalker tendencies, so run for your life.” Do yourself a favour by ditching the need to please everyone. In dating, a little mystery goes a long way.
Mostly D: Your sign says: “keep out”
Your barriers may be a result of shyness, or they may be a deliberate attempt to seem mean and moody. Either way, they’re doing your dating success no favours. People are attracted by a little bit of mystery, but they’re turned off by aloofness and lack of interest. If you want to find love, try a little friendliness.