Actions speak louder than words, but there’s a catch. Your actions may speak loud and clear to everyone else, but not to you – and that’s why body language is such a big deal in the dating game. Your body language could be drowning out your conversation, and you may have no idea what it’s saying.1Is your body language more “go away” than “come hither”?2If you want more control over the signals you’re sending out, first you need to know what they are. Take our quiz to discover what your signals are doing for your love life.
1. You spot a gorgeous bloke staring at you across a crowded room. How do you respond?
a. Hold his gaze until he’s weak at the knees.
b. Smile, look away… then peek to see if he’s still looking.
c. Smile delightedly and head over for a chat.
d. Look away.
2. How often do you make eye contact with men you don’t know?
a. As often as possible. Steady eye contact is incredibly sexy.
b. Fairly regularly, if you like the look of someone.
c. All the time! You smile and chat with everyone – men and women, friends and strangers.
d. As seldom as possible.
3. You’ve arrived alone at a party full of near-strangers. How do you find someone to talk to?
a. Scan for the best-looking man, catch his eye and cheekily raise your drink to him.
b. Stick to the kitchen, where it’s easy to get into random conversations.
c. Flit from person to person, trying to find someone friendly.
d. Sit sipping your drink. Let them come to you.
4. You spot an appealing profile on a dating site. How do you let him know you’re interested?
a. Email to say that you’d love to find out what his skin smells like.
b. Email to ask about a couple of interesting travel experiences he mentioned in his profile.
c. Email him with a lengthy introduction to yourself and your dreams.
d. Wait for him to get in touch.
5. It’s your first date with a new man, and you’re definitely keen. What are your hands doing?
a. Touching his thigh.
b. Briefly touching his arm when he says something funny.
c. Twirling your hair and scratching various bits of your face.
c. You’re sitting on them. (Your hands.)
6. As your date talks, you lean towards him. Why?
a. You’re helpless in the face of surging sexual chemistry.
b. No idea… you just seem to be connecting.
c. So that you can chatter into his ear. Anyway, it’s what all the body language articles say to do.
d. There’s someone barging into you from behind.
7. What’s the most personal piece of information you’d give on a first date with someone you like?
a. Which part of his body you find most attractive.
b. Your phone number.
c. How many children you’d like to have, your favourite baby names and why you shouldn’t drink red wine (it triggers an awful rash on your chest).
d. Your name.
8. You’re at the end of your chatty, flirty first date, and you’d really like to see the guy again. As you say goodbye, you…
a. Ask if he fancies coffee at your place.
b. Give him your number, have a quick kiss and head home alone with a big grin on your face.
c. Tell him a long story about how your previous date gave you a number that turned out to be unlisted, so you must have written it down wrong. Better get it right this time, eh?
d. Disappear into the night.
9. It’s lunchtime the day after your date, and you haven’t heard from him yet. What do you do?
a. Give him a booty call.
b. Text him to say how much you enjoyed meeting him last night.
c. Ring to tell him all about your nightmare journey to work this morning, and to ask what he’s doing for lunch.
d. Wait for him to call you.
10. You’re at the pub having a quiet pint with your boyfriend. At the bar, an attractive stranger flirts with you. You…
a. Flirt back, and slip the stranger your phone number while your partner is out of sight.
b. Smile at him in a “you’d be lucky” way, and plant a kiss on your boyfriend.
c. Cling to your boyfriend, but can’t help throwing the occasional “gosh, you like me?” glance at the handsome stranger.
d. Roll your eyes.
What your answers mean…
Mostly A: Your signals should be X-rated
There’s nothing wrong with letting a man know that you find him attractive. But be aware that your strong sexual vibe may be scaring men away – and it could spell disaster for your love life if you can’t drop the come-hither habit once you’re going out with someone. If you want to catch and keep a decent man, better reign in the thigh-touching.
Mostly B: You send out all the right signals
Your signals radiate self-confidence, friendliness and just the right amount of interest. You’re not afraid to let a man know that you like him, but your approach is never needy or overly sexual. You also know that a steady boyfriend also needs a few “I want you” signals if he’s to feel secure in your relationship, so keep it up!
Mostly C: You’re like an over-eager puppy
It’s nice to be friendly, but there’s a point at which too much interest gets annoying – and it can have the opposite effect to that intended. Many people may interpret your signals as: “stay away, I have stalker tendencies.” Stop trying so hard to please everyone, and remember that a little mystery goes a long way.
Mostly D: Your sign says: “keep out”
Your barriers may be a result of shyness, or they may be a deliberate attempt to seem mean and moody. Either way, they’re doing your dating success no favours. People are attracted by a little bit of mystery, but they’re turned off by aloofness and lack of interest. If you want to find lasting love, try a little friendliness.