Last year, I lived in anxiety wondering how in the world do I know if this is the man God wants me to date? I was paralysed with uncertainties. I had met a man who loved Jesus, but did that mean we should date? I was uncertain if God was opening a door or if our meeting in an elevator was just a random occurrence. I was certain of one thing – I wanted to follow God’s will in this decision.
Let’s be honest, figuring out God’s will in who to date seems daunting. How do we really know God’s will in who to date? While I was trying to figure this out I spent weeks praying, seeking guidance and trying to find answers in the Bible, yet I still did not know God’s will. Thankfully, I learned a new model for decision making and the decision became clear.
If you’re living in anxiety over a big decision, know that you are not alone, God cares and God will not let go of you!
3 Steps to Find God’s Will in Who to Date
Step 1: What does God say?
The Bible does not answer every question we ask. The Bible only shows what is right and wrong in certain areas, thus we should only consult the Bible in these areas. We often think the Bible is a magic book that answers everything, but in regards to dating, not much is said. Dating was not even a concept in Biblical times. The most specific answer the Bible provides for who to date is to make sure that you are not marrying an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14).
So, ask yourself, is he a believer? If the answer is no, then you shouldn’t marry him.
Step 2: Are there any moral reasons you should not date him?
Now is the time to look into your life and his life and to ask yourself if there are any moral reasons you should not date. Spend time with him in groups and see how he interacts with other women. What are your friends saying about him? Do they approve? Are they seeing any red flags?
If there are no moral reasons not to date, be excited! Do you have fun together? Could you see yourself together long term? Embrace the freedom that God has given you in this decision and remember that this is not a decision of right or wrong.
Step 3: Trust God to accomplish His plan.
Most of God’s plans are secret. We have to fearlessly trust in Him to accomplish His will. God does have a will and a plan for each and every one of us, but most of the time it is secret.
Trust in Him. Trust that He knows what He is doing. He knows who you will date. He knows who you will marry.
Take dating seriously. Pray and seek wise council, but don’t live in anxiety over your decision like I did. Enjoy the freedom that God has given you for this decision. Enjoy getting to know the man. Enjoy the moments of new experiences and feelings. I think a lot of believers want so badly to live for God that we stress ourselves out when it comes to decision making. Ladies, there is freedom and there is grace in decision making. And let me tell you, experiencing God’s freedom and grace in dating is a beautiful gift from God. Thank God for this gift and enjoy dating!
Looking for more practical and Biblical tips on Christian dating? Check out Joy’s blog – joypedrow.com
Joy is a recent college grad who experienced Jesus’s love in her freshman year of college and surrendered her life to him. She often blogs about Christian dating, contentment in singleness, and freedom from sexual abuse.