How to get him to commit

Ways to turn your fling into the real thing – without scaring him off   
Men love to talk about the future. The future of their job, the future of the housing market, the future of the football season. But bring up the subject of your romantic future together, and suddenly your average man breaks out in a rash and leaves the room. 
Getting a man to commit can seem harder than getting him to the top of Mount Everest. But it’s easy when you know what makes a man want to be with you forever.

What to do 

DO focus on the present. The trouble with relationships is that we spend half our time thinking about “what’s going on here,” without taking time to enjoy it. The more you worry about where things are going, the more neurotic you’ll seem – and the less likely he is to hang around. 

DO give him space, and stand up for yourself. A little “treat ’em mean” really does work wonders, in a relationship as well as across a crowded room. don’t let a guy think that you’ll always be his doormat, come what may. 

DO keep it exciting. Some men have the idea that short-term flings are fun, while long-term relationships are dull and boring and all about doing each other’s laundry. Prove to him that it doesn’t have to be that way. Plan thrilling dates that don’t involve sitting in front of the telly or visiting your mother. 

DO give him a taste of life without you. There’s nothing quite as attractive to a man as a woman who’s doing a-okay without him. So act like you don’t need him. Let him see from a distance that you’re thriving, confident and in demand. He’ll soon start wondering what he needs to do to keep you. 

DO manage your expectations. It’s okay to hope that your relationship will turn more serious, but temper your fantasies. The more you build yourself up to expect a grand romance, the harder you’ll find it to give him space and relax around him. 

DO let it evolve. Rather than try to talk your way into something more serious, just let it happen – and don’t be in such a hurry. Gradually spend more and more time together. Without pushing it, let him reach a stage where you’re the person he wants to talk to every night.  

DO be honest about what you want from life, but in an indirect way that avoids putting all the pressure on him. When you know what you want and aren’t afraid to show it, you won’t seem needy or clingy – you’ll just seem like a woman who knows her own mind. 

What not to do 

DON’T ask “where is this going?”. It’s like when your boss calls you into their office with the words, “we need a chat.” Your man will immediately feel under pressure, and you’ll come across as being far more needy than you really are. 

DON’T sit around moping about him. If he’s so intent on keeping it “casual”, take full advantage. Enjoy being with your friends and alone, spend your money exactly how you want and, within reason, flirt with other people. 

DON’T be available all the time. Have friends and hobbies that don’t include him. Show that you love and want him, but don’t be so dependent on him that you can’t survive without him. Dependency puts him under the kind of pressure that’ll have him running away faster than you can say “put a ring on it.” 

DON’T play too hard to get. The way to a guy’s heart is through making him feel great about himself. Tell him that he’s great company. Laugh at his jokes and compliment his music tastes. Keep up the momentum without sounding as though you want to trap him for years to come. 

DON’T get into the booty call habit. Foster your connection through shared interests, shared friends and plenty of talking. If sex is all you have in common, he’ll soon be off to get it from someone new. 

DON’T flog a dead horse. If you’ve been seeing a man for several weeks and he hasn’t introduced you to any of his friends, it’s a fair bet that he doesn’t want a long-term relationship with you. Try to accept that he’s not in it for the long haul, and free yourself to meet a guy who is.