Having online dated for longer than I can remember it would be honest to say I have seen my fair share of online dating profiles. Despite recognising that a good profile picture is of paramount importance when online dating, I also believe that a well-written profile is of equal importance. A photo says yes, I like your face. A well-written profile? I also like your mind.
There are a number of school-boy errors that people make when writing a profile. Bad grammar and spelling, too long, too short, too boring or too pretentious to name but a few. Selling yourself in a paragraph is undoubtedly a difficult thing to do but there are basic rules a person can follow if they want to stand out from the crowd and ensure a response from their fellow daters.
Be relaxed and approachable but not too casual.
Your profile is your chance to sell yourself to the world. You are not applying for a job at the MOD you are trying to meet somebody you intend to have a relationship with. Start your profile with a friendly hello or hi. Avoid bullet points or lunching straight into a list of ‘facts’ about yourself.
Don’t be negative.
Introducing yourself as someone who ‘doesn’t really ‘do’ online dating’ or ‘hates this kind of thing’ won’t make you look like someone who is too cool to be online it will make you look like someone who has nothing inspiring or interesting to say about them-self. Newsflash – You are online dating, as are the girls you are trying to date. Indirectly slagging online dating off not only makes you look negative it also implies there’s something wrong with the way they’re trying to meet someone too. Epic online fail.
Think carefully about the adjectives you use.
I understand when you introduce yourself as ‘just a normal kind of guy’ you are trying to sound down to earth but what it actually makes you sound is pretty boring. Girls don’t want just a normal kind of guy, they want someone fun and different!
Likewise reeling off a list of adjectives is totally pointless. ‘I’m funny … adventurous … happy … sensual … honest … caring … dedicated,’ the list is endless and all a total waste of profile space. Yes, you may well be all of these things but who’s going to say otherwise? If you’re funny be funny, if you’re adventurous, give us an example of being adventurous, ‘I love skydiving and last year I spent 3 weeks in New Zealand where I did the biggest bungee jump in the world’ tells me much more about you than an adjective. Honest? Only time will tell — and sensual?
Eurgg. Enough already.
Don’t be too general.
‘I love life’
A classic mistake that people make when writing a profile is to throw in overused clichés that we’ve all read a million times before. You love life? Well, I’d hope so! What’s the alternative – looking forward to your own funeral? ‘Walks on the beach’ ‘red wine and a good film.’ Yuck. Stop it immediately.
And what’s a person supposed to reply to ‘I love life’? ‘Oh that’s nice dear, me too – we must be soul mates’.
Be more specific! What is it you love about life? Travel? Work? Your family? New experiences? ‘I spend much of my spare time travelling the globe and wine tasting in the South of France this summer was a particular highlight!’ says far more to me about your joie de vivre than ‘I love life’ and is an easy lead for a question – ‘That sounds fun! What winery did you go to/what kind of wine do you like?’ … You catch my drift.
Don’t be too grateful.
Yes, of course, it’s flattering when somebody messages you but a little self-confidence please. Under no circumstances use the words ‘thank you’ anywhere in your profile. ‘Thank you for looking at my profile’ doesn’t say that you are polite it says you are a little bit needy, desperate or grateful … and shocked that anyone would be interested in you.
Or fill your profile with a list of requirements.
Almost as offensive as a person who’s too grateful is a person who spends their entire introductory paragraph listing the things they are looking for in a partner. ‘I am looking for …’ or ‘you will be …’ (yes really) are no-no’s. Passive aggressive and demanding and once again, tell me nothing about your personality except that you have limited social skills and will no doubt be a terrible date.
Don’t be too profound or pretentious
And absolutely no ‘positive’ mantras. ‘Don’t ask yourself why – ask yourself why not’ … ‘Fools enter where angels fear to tread’. You’re a tool.
Avoid bad spelling & grammar, winks, smiley faces, capital letters and exclamation marks at all costs. HELLO!!! : ) WOW! WOULD BE AMAZING TO HERE FROM YOU!!!!! : ) LOVIN’ LIFE!!! ; )))))
So to conclude: a good profile is one which tells me something about you. I want to get a little understanding about the person behind the picture, some detail that sets you apart from the crowd and that makes me want to know more.
Either that or be damn funny. A man, with a killer sense of humour? Hold tight inbox.
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