How to secure a second date with her

So you’re totally smitten with her but the next step is tricky. How do you go about sealing the deal by making sure you see her again? Check out our guide to getting that all-important second date

On the first date

Don’t be negative
You’ll need her to see you in your best possible light if you want to secure that second rendezvous but that doesn’t mean pretending to be someone you’re not. You probably already know your bad points – perhaps you can sometimes be a touch pedantic or negative. Maybe you talk too much when you’re nervous. Try to be aware of these tendencies when you’re in conversation keep them in check. Be yourself, but think before you speak and you should be fine.

Don’t be rude
Yes it sounds obvious, of course you’re not going to be rude to someone you’re hoping to start a relationship with, but we’re not just talking about your behaviour with her. You also need to watch your behaviour around others. On the first date she’ll be keeping her eye out for tell tale signs that reveal what you’re really like. She’ll notice if you’re off-hand with the wait staff for example or if lose your temper with a barman and it’s those first impressions that will form her opinion of you and colour her decision about whether she’d want to spend time with you again.

Be attentive
A little bit of chivalry goes a long way and needn’t be patronising. Strive to be attentive rather than protective. Always pick up the bill at the end of the night even if she offers to pay he share. Be observant and make sure she’s comfortable, that she never has an empty glass, hold the door open for her etc. Concern yourself with how she’s going to get home and if necessary put her in a taxi or walk her there yourself. Pay her a compliment – in essence make as positive an impression as possible.

Don’t get heavy
First date conversation should be light and breezy. It’s best to stay off heavy topics like politics because it’s all too easy for her to form snap judgements about people from their political standpoints before getting to know them properly. Stick to topics like film, music and hobbies. Be your own editor. Let conversation flow naturally and reveal your sense of humour without unleashing all your thoughts and opinions in one go.

Show your interest
Women notice the little things. Be sure to stay focused on her when she’s speaking. Maintain eye-contact and ask her questions that show you’ve been listening to what she’s saying. Try not to look around at other women when you’re with her and make a point of remembering things she’s said so you can bring them up later in the conversation or when you call to ask her out on a second date. She’ll really appreciate a man who listens, remembers and has the wherewithal to act on information he’s gleaned.

After the first date

Call her!
There’s no magic formula as to how long you should wait before calling but don’t play it too cool and wait for a whole week to pass before you pick up the phone. Never crowd her by calling and asking her out the same night either. It’s a nice idea to drop her a text at the end of the night or the following day to let her know you had a good time and hint that you’d like to do it again. Follow-up with a call or email a couple of days later to firm-up plans.