How can you ensure you put your best self forward at one of our exciting new match.com nights? Follow Match.com’s Relationship Expert Kate Taylor’s guide to working the room.
Wear something noticeable
Studies have shown that men are 58% more likely to ask a woman on a date if she’s wearing a red top, so don’t overlook the importance of your outfit. Wear a colour that the opposite sex finds appealing: blue for men (German research revealed women feel blue denotes faithfulness), red or pink for women. Another idea is to wear something that invites conversation. Like, a badge with a printed message (people will often cross the room to read the writing – and after that, they HAVE to speak to you), a dramatic piece of jewellery (a pendant with your initial works well, or some unusual cufflinks), or just some crazy shoes.
Where your confidence levels go, your shoulders swiftly follow. If you tend to stoop or slouch when you feel shy, it’s time to get out of the habit. Stooping creates a very “closed-in” posture that makes people reluctant to talk to you. Try this tip for standing tall: pull your shoulders back until you feel a tiny “pinch” in-between your shoulder blades. Now look in the mirror – see how you instantly appear taller, more confident and more approachable? (And how your chest looks awesome?) Keep feeling that “pinch” when you’re in company. You might still feel shy, but no-one else will know.
Talk to everyone
At a match.com Night, don’t just speak to people you fancy; make a point to talk to as many people as you can. Not only will it raise your confidence levels, but it’ll make you appear popular , which is incredibly attractive. If you bring friends along to the Night, avoid the temptation to simply sit and talk to them all evening. You’ll form an impenetrable shield and other people will steer clear. Instead, sit or stand in an open group – facing the room, not each other – and keep to the “social zones” of the room. These are by the bar, in the centre, or near where any food is served. In these zones, other people will feel most comfortable starting conversations with you. If you stay in the “private zones” (the corners of the room), people will feel you want to be left alone.
When you do get into conversation with someone new, keep it light-hearted and neutral. There will be plenty of time to rant about your political leanings later on – in the beginning, concentrate on being fun. Ask questions that are enjoyable to answer. Not, “Why are you single?” but, “I love this venue. What’s the best night you’ve ever had in this town?” Concentrate on positive topics (best friends, lovely family members, great music, wonderful films) and your companion will associate you with that warm, fuzzy feeling inside. Be sure to do your own PR too. For example, don’t baldly state that you just lost your job and now live with your Mum. Instead, focus on the volunteering work you’ve taken up, or how much you’re enjoying spending time with your family. Put a positive spin on your life. It not only sounds better to new people, but research has shown that positive social interactions actually raise the levels of Oxytocin in women, and Vasopressin in men. Both these hormones aid the attraction process. Use them.
Close the deal
At the end of a fun conversation with someone you find attractive, close the deal. Ask for their Match.com username and send them a sweet follow-up message the next day, saying how much you enjoyed meeting them. If they’re not on the site, get their number and text or call them. And forget waiting three days before phoning. In a recent Lovegeist Study, we found that modern daters only wait an average of 1.5 days to get in touch. Keep your message light and charming, and it could lead to something life-changing…