When it comes to fun in the bedroom, I’m all for trying out new things. Nothing kills a once healthy sex life off like monotony and repetition. Whilst I recognise that mastering tantric sex in order to spice up your sex life can be a little over ambitious, sometimes, throwing in a bit of extra naughtiness can work wonders for your sex life – and your relationship.
Struggling for ideas? How about something free, fun and potentially explosive in the bedroom – start using your mouth, and no I’m not talking about more oral sex (although I’m sure that’s always going to be gratefully received too) I’m talking dirty, and so should you – because you’ll be amazed at the power of language when it comes to turning up the heat.
And for those of you who are having a little trouble knowing where to start, and your idea of talking dirty is arguing about who’s doing the washing up, here are a few pointers to get you started. Trust me, once you get started you’ll wonder why you stayed quiet for so long.
Encourage your partner to talk dirty
There are, of course, different levels of ‘dirty’ and if you’re treading on new territory here, then it might be an idea to test the water with your partner before you launch into a ten minute dialogue about how much you’ve always fantasised about having a threesome with the neighbour and his wife.
Just being vocal can be a turn on if you’re used to keeping quiet normally, tell you partner that you like what they are doing (if you do!) ‘yes, just like that’ …. ‘that feels good’ … ‘you do that so well’ can sound a bit naff on paper but encouraging and praising your partner in the bedroom will do wonders for their confidence, remind them that they are turning you on, and as a consequence act as a real aphrodisiac!
The thrill of anticipation
If you want to take the reins a bit why not give them some guidance – in and out of the bedroom. Directing your partner in the right direction in bed is assertive and sexy but surprising them during the day with a sultry phone call telling them you’ve been thinking about then all day and can’t wait to get naked later is foreplay at its very best. “I’m sitting at my desk trying to concentrate and all I can think about is you inside me” Yep, that should do it.
Share you fantasises
If you want to step it up a bit why not indulge your partner in some of your sexy fantasies, we all have them and speaking them out loud can be hot as hell. Fancy being tied up and spanked or fantasise about having a threesome? Love the thought of sex outside, people watching you, you watching people, dressing up in something naughty, being covered in cream and licked for hours? Whatever your fantasy, I can guarantee that sharing it will be a one way ticket to great sex. Unless, of course, your fantasy is to have sex with your boyfriend’s best friend while he is at work, in which case you’re probably best off keeping that to yourself.
Talking dirty is all in the delivery
Of course, it’s not just the subject you’re sharing but the way that you share it too. Keep your tone soft and sexy, remember you’re trying to get your partner off not announcing a 5 minute delay on the Northern Line. Whisper, breath, pause, tempt. Make your words heady and loaded … and your language promising and dirty.
And whilst there are certain words I keep to a minimum in daily life, when it comes to being hedonistic in bed I think sometimes the dirtier the language the hotter the sex. Remember, dirty talking is all about fantasy, temptation and seduction, let yourself go and lose yourself in the language.
The important thing to remember, when it comes to spicing up your sex life, is that it’s not just about getting physical. Talking, fantasising, and imagination can be equally as important and amazingly sexy.
So next time you want to turn your partner on, forget furry handcuffs, new underwear and scented candles just use your words …. Cheaper, sexier and far more erotic than anything you’ll ever buy in Ann Summers.