So you’ve got a date. Excellent news! Now you just need to make sure it’s a good one.
“Great dating is about more than choosing the right venue and cleaning your teeth before you leave the house.”
Though both are certainly recommended, you also need to make sure you behave, talk and engage in a way that’s going to maximise the chances of finding a spark between you.
Here are some top tips to help make sure you’re a great person to go on a date with:
1. Be on time
Hanging around in a bar or restaurant waiting for someone you don’t yet know can make you feel embarrassed, vulnerable and like you could be being stood up. No doubt you’d hate it, so don’t do it to your date. Leaving plenty of time to get to the date means you’ll arrive calm and ready to chat, rather than flustered, anxious and out of breath. But if you absolutely can’t avoid being late that’s okay, just make sure you get in touch straight away and that you have a plausible reason. Saying you lost track of time whilst catching up with X-Factor will not cut it!
2. Be comfortable
Wear something that makes you feel good. You don’t want to be sat there pulling at a shirt that’s too tight or worrying about walking in uncomfortable high heels. Put on something that makes you feel at ease and confident so that you can focus on your date rather than your blisters.
3. Be interesting
You don’t have to claim to have just jumped out of a plane or that you’ve invented a self-driving car, you just need to come prepared to talk about what makes you intriguing. Maybe you’re passionate about your job or a hobby, or perhaps you’re excited about a holiday you’re planning or a gig you’re going to. You’re on this date because the other person thinks you sound charismatic, so prove them right!
4. Be interested
And by that same token, it’s fair to assume that you’re also on a date because you’re keen to find out more about the other person. So demonstrate that by really listening to what they have to say, asking questions, and being respectful of their passions and point of view. People want to go out with guys and girls they can chat to and who show a genuine interest in what they have to say.
5. Be honest
Nobody wants to go on a date with a faker. Stories about countries you haven’t really visited and celebrities you haven’t really met might make for an interesting half hour, but there’s only so long you can keep up that kind of façade, so what’s the point? Just relax and be yourself. It’s OK to give honest answers about where you are in your life, your past and what you want. You don’t have to overshare, but don’t lie either as lies just waste everybody’s time. You’ll have a much better date being honest, and a there’s a greater chance you’ll secure a second one too.
6. Be polite
Are you expecting an urgent call which absolutely can’t wait? If not, put your phone away and give this date your full attention. As tempting as it might be to Instagram the cocktail you’re drinking or live WhatsApp the entire rendezvous for your best friend, what you’ll actually do is appear rude and lose the interest of your date. If you really have to take a call, explain that straight up. Bad manners are such a turn off so be polite – not just to your date but to everyone you interact with. No matter how much you have in common, if you’re rude it’ll be game over.
7. Be open minded
It’s unlikely that you’re going to date somebody who lives exactly the same life as you do. You will probably have different interests, careers, backgrounds – whatever it is, you need to be open to and show empathy with where the other person is coming from. Just because you don’t have matching opinions or you don’t enjoy all the same activities, it doesn’t mean you won’t get on – in fact, it could be precisely what attracts you to one another. The only way to find out is if you have an open mind. You might have come out with a particular set of expectations of the person you were meeting which then change during the course of the date and that’s fine. Remain open to possibility and anything could happen.
Get more advice on The Three Things You Need To Be Successful At Dating and Online Dating: What Do You Really Want?
Charlotte is a communications manager, freelance journalist, copywriter and blogger who writes on relationships, confidence and much more! You can find Charlotte at nothinggoodrhymeswithcharlotte.com and @Charlottebuxto on Twitter.