Quiz: He’s just not that into you… or is he?

Getting together with a new man is 10% joy, 90% guesswork. Two days pass without a call – is he busy, or playing hard to get, or just not that into you?
We can’t give you the gift of telepathy, but our quiz can help you work out what’s going on in his head.

1. You’ve been away at your mum’s for a week. How does he greet you when you return?
a. He surprises you by waiting on the station platform with a bunch of flowers.
b. He takes you out for dinner.
c. He asks you over and rips your clothes off.
d. By saying “oh… hi” when he finally switches his phone back on.

2. When did he last ring up and ask to see you?
a. He phoned this morning to ask what you’re doing tonight. He does it most mornings.
b. He asked you out to the theatre to apologise for last week, when he had to cancel two dates.
c. You got a booty call a couple of days ago.
d. A few days after your first date, in response to your five voicemails.

3. You’ve joined a dance class. He’s not exactly the dancing type. He…
a. Says he fancies coming along, but makes you promise not to laugh at his two left feet.
b. Is polite when you talk about it, but isn’t interested in coming along to watch you.
c. Remarks that dancers are supposed to be great in bed.
d. Makes a sarcastic comment about Bruce Forsyth.

4. He gets a job in a bar where you know lots of gorgeous women drink. You…
a. Think: great, he’ll have some extra pocket money.
b. Only find out on the night that he starts working there.
c. Dream up a few sexual tricks to keep his eye from wandering.
d. Only find out when you have a drink there with a friend, and see him chatting cosily to a female customer.

5. How have your conversations changed since your first date?
a. He’s become more open about what he’s thinking and feeling, including the trivial stuff.
b. It’s still much the same “date talk”.
c. He’s never been very conversational. He’s more into sex than chat.
d. You’ve run out of things to talk about.

6. He wins a big new contract and has after-work drinks to celebrate. Are you invited?
a. Yes, and he introduces you proudly to his workmates.
b. No, but he calls you from the pub and suggests meeting for dinner afterwards.
c. No, but he calls you drunk from the pub and begs you to come over for sex.
d. No. You’re not even sure where he works.

7. You’ve invited him out with a couple of your friends. He…
a. Comes along and is attentive with you and gentlemanly with your friends.
b. Can’t make it to meet your friends, but takes you for a drink afterwards.
c. Turns up late and stays for half an hour.
d. Texts at the last minute to say he can’t come.

8. You’re in the pub together when a pretty blonde starts eyeing him from the bar. He…
a. Doesn’t notice.
b. Chuckles, obviously pleased with her attention, and carries on talking to you.
c. Blushes and puffs out his chest.
d. Catches her eye and smiles, then does it again a few minutes later.

9. You have a stomach bug. When you ring him from your sick bed, he…
a. Takes the afternoon off work and comes over with flowers and DVDs.
b. Couriers you a Get Well card and flowers.
c. Seems embarrassed.
d. Says he’s in a tunnel and the signal is… hello? Hello?

10. How does he refer to in company?
a. As “my girlfriend”.
b. By your name.
c. You’ve never been in company together. You’ve mainly been in bed together.
d. As “my friend”.
What your answers mean…

Mostly A: You’ve got him hook, line and sinker
This guy is so into you he’s coming out the other side. His behaviour bears all the hallmarks of genuine affection and even love: he’s eager to see you, he’s interested in your hobbies and friends, and affectionate and romantic in public and in private. All the signs are that he wants to make a future with you. Let’s just hope that you feel the same way about him.
Mostly B: He’s into you, but he’s not into commitment
He likes you and enjoys taking you out, but he’s keeping you at arm’s length. Think of Mr Big in Sex and the City: charming and attentive, but always on his own terms. If you want to see him and he can’t make it, tough. He may be a control freak, or he may have been hurt in the past and is wary of getting too cosy. Can you change him? Probably not.
Mostly C: He’s into you, as long as you’re naked
He fancies you, but he doesn’t think you’re a keeper. When your clothes are on and you just fancy talking, he zones out. He doesn’t have much respect for your tastes, friends and interests, and he makes no effort to pretend otherwise. Enjoy the great sex, but don’t expect it to last. When the lust fades, move on.
Mostly D: He’s just not that into you
Does it need spelling out? He may be happy enough to sleep with you, but he shows no interest in your life, work or hobbies, and he doesn’t even seem that keen to see you. Don’t kid yourself that he wants to “take it slowly” or is playing hard to get. If he wanted a relationship, he’d let you know. Stop wasting your time, and find someone who values you.