Real blogger Kat: Dating lesson #2 – Don’t take men too literally

I’ve encountered a problem during my dating escapades. Men have this horrible habit of dropping hints that imply they’ve got long term plans with you. I’m not talking about your boyfriend of three years asking you to go on holiday. This is about someone that starts talking long-term after a few dates. Sometimes even on the very first date.

Previous examples have included things like, ‘On your birthday I’ll take you to this great restaurant, you’ll love it’, when your birthday is 6 months later. Others can include, but are not limited to, ’We should definitely get you a bike so that we can go cycling together’ (buying an expensive object so that you can spend more time together – if that’s not commitment I don’t know what is) and ‘I’ll try and get you an invite to my brother’s wedding, I really want you to be there’ (well you don’t just take anyone to your brother’s wedding – your whole family is going to be there!).

I don’t know about you girls, but when I’m told things like this I can’t help but getting a bit excited. I think, wow, they obviously see this as quite a long term thing. So you start to get a bit more keen, a bit more involved, perhaps put in a bit more effort and, before you know it, you’re being dumped at Pizza Express because things were ‘moving too fast’.

My favourite has been, ‘I think you’re more into this than I am’. WHAT IS GOING ON, YOU JUST ASKED ME TO GO CAMPING WITH ALL YOUR FRIENDS, HOW AM I MEANT TO BEHAVE?!

It’s confusing, and, after careful consideration I’ve whittled the reasons that men might do this down to: a) They actually don’t realise they are doing this b) They know exactly what they are doing but are waiting to see your reaction, and will then decide on whether they want to commit c) They actually do mean all of these things as they say them, but don’t think as literally or as long-term as girls and haven’t thought about the potential damage they could be doing by saying these things

So which one is it boys?

That said, I’ve kept these things in mind during my dating experiences of 2014 and it seems to be paying off. It’s easy for us women to get caught up in everything that men say, but my main lesson is not to take everything so literally. It eases the pressure and allows us to have a good time instead of worrying about every little thing they’ve said.

Maybe this is why I’ve met someone nice on Match!

We’ve been on a few dates already and it’s going well. He works in marketing like me (although I promise that’s not all we talk about!), and we’ve got a fourth date planned for this weekend. But am I taking to heart everything he says? Absolutely not. I’m taking it easy.

So ladies – let’s relax and not take everything so literally. And hopefully, eventually, one man will actually mean everything he says.

For more from Kat, head back to our London dating page.

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