Think yourself sexy

Before we begin, let’s get one thing straight … you ain’t no supermodel.

I doubt your face is perfectly symmetrical or that you are totally cellulite free. You could have one boob bigger than the other and a slightly wider jaw than is deemed delicate on a lady. Big feet, thin hair, an annoying tendency to put weight on by just looking at a cake.

Sounds familiar? And how about this – setting yourself ‘realistic’ goals like losing three stone in two months, waking up at 4am every weekday to run 10 miles around the park or totally changing your whole physical appearance thereby becoming completely unrecognisable from the flabby mess you think you are now.

I speak from first-hand experience. I, too, am guilty of falling victim to the visionary promise of body beautiful. Unsurprisingly, however, my determination to eat nothing but celery and raw tuna for six months and actually use the expensive gym membership I have paid for more than once a week diminish the minute the option of a quick one after work or a two for one deal at Pizza Express appear.

Oh, the joys of good intentions.

Extreme weight loss and 4am running sessions are similar to unicorns – fantastic in theory, totally mythical in reality.

With this in mind, might I suggest then, that we start on our journey of self-discovery by setting slightly more realistic targets for ourselves and more achievable goals? Focusing for a change, in what we have not what we don’t have.

Look in the mirror and what do you see? My guess is it’s your faults, the things you don’t like about yourself rather than the things you do. But I could be wrong. In which case you’re full of body confidence, totally love yourself (which, by the way, is a good thing) and I have no use for you here.

If however you don’t see ‘perfect’, I have good news. People couldn’t care less about that extra half a stone you put on over the Christmas party season or the birth mark on your thigh. In fact, I think it is probably safe to say that, when naked in front of a man, the only thing he does see is a beautiful naked woman who is about to have sex with him. Which is great news as it means that, despite years of panicking about your muffin top, you are actually highly desirable and a damn sight sexier than you think you are.

Show me a man that notices a stretch mark and I’ll show you someone who’s either harbouring a secret about impotence or a large collection of Dolly Parton records.

In other words … you are as flawless as you choose to be, it’s just about learning to say ‘I’m good enough’ that makes you hot not whether you aren’t a size 8 or not.

And there’s more good news.

Being sexy isn’t about looking perfect it’s about thinking sexy.

When push comes to shove, men want to date you not measure your waist. If you want to radically change your appearance overnight, spend less time worrying about the size of your arse and more time recognising your good points – your amazing skin, your sexy swagger, you fabulous sense of humour or your ability to play the spoons on your knee whilst balancing a glass of wine on your nose.

You’re unique and amazing and recognising this will lead you to living a life far more conducive to happiness than mastering the art of surviving on three sticks of celery and a handful of Haribo Starmix a day.

Failing that you could spend your life in the gym and refuse to have sex with the lights on … now there’s a sexy thought.