Dating tips7 minutes

The Top 5 Dating New Year’s Resolutions

The Top 5 Dating New Year's Resolutions

At the beginning of a new year, we all feel good about having a fresh start, so we set some goals to improve our lives (whether personally, physically, emotionally, or professionally). But the real work comes from making those goals actually happen. According to the Guardian, 66% of Brits have broken a New Year’s resolution in a month or less. It’s easy to fall into old patterns after a couple of weeks, but there are ways to avoid doing this.

If you’re looking to turn over a new leaf in your dating life in particular, you’ve come to the right place. In this article, I’ll take you through five tips for mixing up your online dating strategies for 2018.

1. Think About Past Mistakes & Make an Effort to Avoid Them

The best place to start is to pinpoint the mistakes you were making with online dating or what went wrong during the process, and then work toward avoiding those things in the future. Maybe you weren’t initiating any messages, maybe you were relying on Match to find all your potential dates instead of searching on your own as well, maybe you only posted one photo, or maybe you were coming on too strong in your profile. You could even physically write out a list if that will help you visualize things. Not only can this process help you see better results with online dating, but it can help other areas of your life as well.

2. Take Advantage of All of the Dating Site’s Features

You shouldn’t limit yourself to just a few aspects of the dating site you’re on. For example, Match allows you to search for matches, gives you match suggestions in your inbox every day, offers virtual likes and winks, a Favorites list, messaging, and matchPhone, and hosts live singles events. That’s what makes it one of the go-to dating sites. Do all the things! That should be your new online dating mantra.

3. Don’t Be Too Picky

I think most people would say 2017 was a pretty rough year in terms of violence and political, social, and economic divide. We saw a lot of people being horrible to one another, so let’s make a pact together to make 2018 better. One of the ways you can do that is by trying to be less judgmental about your potential dates or partners. Give them the benefit of the doubt, don’t form an opinion about them based on one photo, and go on at least two dates to see how you both really feel about each other. You’d want the same courtesy extended to you, right?

4. Be True to Yourself & Your Wants

Just because you’re trying not to be picky about your matches doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your own wants and needs. If you want children, there’s nothing wrong with telling someone you’re not interested in them because they don’t feel the same way. If religion is something you can’t live without, you should definitely put that in your profile. If you have four dogs and only see yourself with a fellow animal lover, (gently) say that in your messages. You want your date(s) to like your for you, so sticking to your ideals, values, and beliefs will make sure that happens. But you also don’t want to be mean about it. Find that balance.

5. Take a Break & Try to Meet People in Person

Online dating can be frustrating sometimes, and it’s OK to admit that. Take a step back from it before you reach the breaking point. Go to speed dating events, bars where you know singles go, or parties to mix things up. Have your friends or family set you up. Take up a new hobby and get to know the people you meet there. The possibilities really are endless.

Other classic resolutions that aren’t just for New Year but habits for life:

  • Smile more. There’s a reason it takes fewer muscles to smile than it does to frown, so why waste your energy on negative expressions when you could spread happiness with ease? You never know who could be falling in love with your smile!
  • Scare yourself every day. No, I don’t mean get drunk and online stalk the object of your affections only to wake up in the cold light of day to discover you had ‘liked’ a year old Facebook photo of them. Instead I’m talking about discovering a side to yourself that you never knew you had, as this could lead to you dating someone you never usually would have considered.
  • Shun convention. Less of the ‘wait-three-days-to-text-back’ rule and more of the ‘making-the-first-move’ resolution. We live in the 21st century where dating etiquettes have changed dramatically, so don’t get left behind with outdated traditions and instead go with the flow!
  • Love to learn. We’re so busy learning to love that we forget about loving to learn. What happened to those butterflies in our stomachs when we stumbled across a shared, niche interest with our other half? While it’s great to know every last fact about our partner, the secret to long-lasting love is to always learn something new about them.
  • Lose control. You could organise your life to the very last detail and micromanage every single aspect – or you could take a risk and throw caution to the wind. Accept last-minute party invites, take a stranger’s number on a whim because let’s be honest: no great story ever started with a salad!
  • Speak the same language. You might think that just because you and your partner speak the same native tongue, you’re automatically speaking the same language. But sometimes actions speak louder than words which marriage counsellor, Gary Chapman, highlights in his book, ‘The Five Love Languages’. Showing your love in the form of words of affirmation may differ from your partner’s affection through quality time, so be sure to not just speak but listen to your other half.
  • Be in the moment. Many people admit that the reason their relationships fail is because – wait for it – it’s going too well. While it may sound like a crazy reason to break up with a partner, you’d be surprised how often it happens. So what if you’re on cloud nine? Do you know how many people would give to experience this, let alone enjoy this mutual feeling? Count yourself lucky and enjoy the ride!
  • Focus on the intent, not the outcome. Sure, it’s easy to feel the impact of an event – but have you ever stopped to consider its intent? OK, so the act of paying you a compliment or remembering a key anniversary by your partner may pale in comparison to a huge gesture such as surprising you with a holiday, but it’s not about the final outcome and more about its well-meant intentions. Pay attention to the small details, as this makes all the difference.

Hayley Matthews is editor-in-chief at DatingAdvice.com, a popular site featuring advice from more than 250 dating coaches, matchmakers, and other relationship experts. In addition to expert tips and guides, the site also publishes reviews of the best online dating apps, where Hayley and her team rank Match.com as #1. When Hayley isn’t writing about dating and relationships, she’s listening to The Beatles or watching Harry Potter movies.

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