Tips for older women starting out on online dating sites
They say that 60 is the new 40 and certainly inside I still feel like that Essex girl of the sixties which I once was, (my claim to fame was seeing the Beatles live on stage, before they were discovered at East Ham Odeon). Of course my body is not quite as svelte as it once was and I have learnt a few lessons about love and life along the way. If you are new to online dating, I thought it might be helpful to share some of my insights with you to perhaps save you from learning some lessons the hard way by offering some of my experiences with you in the form of tips.
- Get some good photographs taken which show you at your smiling best. I have lost count of the number of men – of all ages who have commented on my smile – you need to look open and welcoming and fun to be with.
- Dress nicely rather than in just a T shirt and jeans – you want to stand out from the crowd and are in competition with literally thousands of other women to get the attention of men to read your profile. Men are visual beings.
- It goes without saying, along with dressing well, you need to take care with your make up. The same as in the flesh, men notice women who have taken some care with their appearance. I know this from going Ceroc dancing (modern jive) and the positive comments I get about my dresses, necklaces, appearance and smile.
- Don’t lie about your age – if you seriously want a long term relationship then telling a lie at the outset is not a good foundation for the future. We take a lot of ‘stuff’ on trust from people’s profiles and if you then meet and someone says – as happened to me – that he was actually 5 years older than advertised because he did not think putting the right age would attract dates then any trust is gone – what else might he be lying about? He was right, I would not have gone if I had known his true age as his made up age was at the limit of what I was looking for. I felt he had wasted my time so not a good feeling.
- Be prepared to feel let down or disappointed. Having gone to the trouble to dress up and given up an evening or some other time to meet someone who turns out not to be as expected is I am afraid all part of dating. I could not believe it when one guy turned up in a pair of shorts, a short sleeved shirt, socks and sandals (never an acceptable combination) on a Sunday night in August. What might have been OK in the sunshine was not appropriate for a first meeting – you only get one chance to make a first impression.
- Before meeting anyone always speak on the phone first, this is normally a way of at least seeing if you can have a decent conversation and if you have enough in common to talk about to make meeting worthwhile. As my point above proves even if you have spoken on the phone or had lots of texts or emails, until you meet someone you never know (a) are they for real? (b) are they who they say they are? (c) do you feel any chemistry or desire to see them again?
- Never agree to meet anywhere you feel uncomfortable about going to and don’t let them pick you up at home – always meet in public and if you feel unsure let a family member or friend know where you are going, perhaps even arranging a check in time for a phone call to say everything is OK.