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Dates or mates: what does she see you as?

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by match.com Relationship and dating advice from match.com
Dates or mates: what does she see you as?

You hang out together at least once a week, you’re her go-to gig buddy and you share more in-jokes than you can count. But when it’s just the two of you there just doesn’t seem to be any intimacy – no holding hands or kissing, no “coupley” things.

Does she feel the same way about you? Is she just shy? Or does she not see your time together as dates?

Here are a few tell-tale signs to help you work out whether you’re mates or dates:

Dates: You’ve met her parents

Would you introduce every Tina, Debbie and Harriet to your parents? No. We didn’t think so. You’re most likely to only take a certain special someone home to meet your mum.

For a lot of people, meeting the parents is a big deal. But if you’ve shaken her dad’s hand, bought her mum flowers and have been approved by her siblings then it’s a pretty good indicator that you’re already dating.

Mates: You always initiate the next date

Have you noticed that it’s always you who initiates the next rendezvous? And does her response often leave you feeling like meeting up is a chore?

It’s important to remember that relationships shouldn’t require such a one-sided effort, especially not in the early stages of dating.

If you feel like you’re the one making all the effort then it probably means you’re more into her than she is into you.

Dates: She texts you to say “Goodnight”

Texting requires minimal effort but sending a text at certain times of the day implies some thought is behind it. For example, if she texts you to say a simple “good morning” or “good night” it shows that you were the first person she thought of when she woke up and the last as she fell asleep – this speaks volumes.

Mates: She avoids having “the talk”

If you’ve asked how she feels about the two of you but to no avail then it probably means you’re just friends.

By avoiding “the talk” she might think she’s sparing your feelings. That said, she might not even have any idea about the way you really feel.

Dates: She says she’ll miss you

If her best friend was going on holiday for a week or away on business would she say she “missed” her? Probably not, and that’s because she knows that in a week they’ll be reunited and gossiping away like they’d never been apart. But if she says she’ll “miss you” it might just be because she genuinely will.

For more advice head back to our dating section, or read more of our dating blogs!