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The 8 Real Relationship Goals You Actually Need

photo of Laura
by Laura
The 8 Real Relationship Goals You Actually Need

We’ve all seen #relationshipgoals littering social media. Used to express admiration of a couple, the hashtag is popular among both singles and those in relationships. Even the online dating world is full of people claiming to want a relationship that lives up to these “goals”.

The use of the hashtag took off in 2014 when people started plastering it across social media. But what actually are relationship goals?

  • Can you really tell how happy a couple are by looking at a posed photo of them gazing adoringly into each others’ eyes?
  • Do these couples not have arguments?
  • Do they ever look anything less than perfect and beautiful?

The answer is, of course, that no couple is perfectly in love and happy at all times. The reality is less glamorous than social media would have us believe. Here at Match we’re celebrating Love With No Filter, so we’ve put together a list of more realistic, actually achievable relationship goals, for couples who aren’t fooled by impossible expectations set by social media. Read on for the 8 real relationship goals you actually need…

1. The moment when… you trust each other with your phones

This moment is a big deal to some and less so to others. What it boils down to is whether you have anything on your phone that you wouldn’t want your other half to see. This might be dodgy photos or bordering-on-flirty chats with other people, but if your partner picking up your phone sets you on edge, you should probably think carefully about trust in your relationship. Alternatively, if you don’t mind your partner grabbing your phone to check something while theirs is charging, you know you have a pretty good foundation of trust.

2. The moment when… you get into a date night routine

Couples need couple time. Whether it’s heading out for a fancy meal, going to the cinema or having a romantic night in, successful couples make sure they’re having enough one-on-one time. You don’t need to have a schedule or arrange date nights for the same day every week – what’s important is making the time for each other.

3. The moment when… you have an argument and don’t assume you’re going to break up

Everyone feels insecure at the beginning of a relationship – often underpinned by a feeling that the end is nigh every time you argue. The sooner you realise that arguments aren’t always about wanting to break up, the better. Early in a relationship you’re both still getting used to each other and what you do and don’t tolerate. This is bound to lead to some arguments, even when it feels like you should still be in the honeymoon phase. Couples argue; the real relationship goal is accepting this and trying to minimise the pointless bickering.

4. The moment when… you’re completely relaxed about your other half being out

Relationships are all about trust, and they’re impossible to sustain if it’s missing. The most solid relationships are those in which either partner can go out drinking/partying/doing their thing, without the other getting jealous or possessive. If you trust your other half, it’s unnecessary to bombard them with texts and phone calls. This is their time with their friends and having an obsessive partner lurking in the background is going to put a downer on it.

5. The moment when… you don’t feel like you need to publicise your relationship on social media  

If you’re having a good time together, do you really need to update your Facebook and let everyone know? A cute selfie every once in a while or some fun holiday snaps is fair enough, but couples who are truly content normally feel comfortable enough to keep things subtle. You can tick off another relationship goal if you count yourself among these couples.

6. The moment when… you see their friends as your own

Meeting and getting on with your other half’s friends is incredibly important if you want a future together. Your partner’s pals will most likely end up being some of your best friends in the long term. At a certain point you’ll begin to refer to them as your friends rather than just your partner’s and will feel comfortable arranging to see them without your other half. This is a sign that you’re both invested in the relationship and that you have a promising future together.

7. The moment when… you’re used to him seeing you without makeup

For many women, the bare face reveal is a huge moment. Makeup is a confidence booster, and stripping it back can make you feel vulnerable. Your man seeing you this way is an important step in any relationship. He’ll undoubtedly think you’re just as beautiful without your war paint on, and once you’ve got the first time out of the way you’ll never be as nervous again. So why wait? You’ll feel more comfortable once you’ve ticked off this relationship goal.

8. The moment when… you discuss your future and agree where you’re heading

The most rock solid couples are on the same page when it comes to which direction they’re heading in. It turns out people can have very different expectations of the future. Some want marriage, 2.4 children and a detached house, others are happy with a dog and a successful career. Make sure you’re aware of each other’s expectations. If there’s anything you disagree on, work out if it’s a deal breaker or if you think compromise is possible on either side. Whatever the outcome, you’ll be stronger for having been honest with each other.

Every couple has their own version of relationship goals. Do what feels right and healthy and you can’t go far wrong!

Discover more dating advice, or check out our dating expert’s 5 ways to improve your relationship. Or, if you’re new to dating, memorise some of our go-to first date questions to make things a little more interesting!