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The 8 Real Relationship Goals You Actually Need

photo of Laura
by Laura
The 8 Real Relationship Goals You Actually Need

We’ve all seen the infamous #relationshipgoals littering social media in recent years. Used to express admiration of an often famous couple, the hashtag is popular amongst both singles and those in relationships themselves. Even the online dating world is being overrun by people claiming to want a relationship that lives up to these goals.

It seems that the use of this hashtag really took off in 2014 and since then it’s become an almost standard part of spoken English, as well as being plastered across social media. But what are relationship goals? Can you really tell how happy a couple are by looking at a posed photo of them gazing adoringly into each others’ eyes? Do these couples not have arguments and shout at each other? Do they ever look anything less than perfect and beautiful?

The answer is, of course, that no couple is perfectly in love and happy at all times. Amongst all the good times, couples regularly argue, make each other sad and see each other at their worst. This reality is less glamorous than social media would have us believe. Here at Match, we thought it was time to put together a list of more realistic, actually achievable relationship goals, for couples who can’t always reach the impossible expectations set by social media. Read on for the 8 real relationship goals you actually need…

1. The moment when… you’re used to him seeing you without makeup

For many women, the bare face reveal is a huge moment. Makeup is a confidence booster, and stripping it back can make you feel vulnerable. Your man seeing you this way is an important step in any relationship. He’ll undoubtedly think you’re just as beautiful without your war paint on, and once you’ve got the first time out of the way you’ll never be as nervous again. So why wait? You’ll feel more comfortable than ever once you’ve ticked off this relationship goal.

2. The moment when… you trust each other with your phones

This moment is a big deal to some and less so to others. What it boils down to is whether you have anything on your phone that you wouldn’t want your other half to see. This might be dodgy photos or bordering-on-flirty chats with other people, but if your partner picking up your phone sets you on edge, you should probably think carefully about trust in your relationship. Alternatively, if you don’t mind your partner grabbing your phone to check something while theirs is charging, you know you have a pretty good foundation of trust.

3. The moment when… you have an argument and don’t assume you’re going to break up

Everyone feels insecure towards the beginning of a relationship- this is underpinned by a feeling of extreme terror that the end is nigh every time you argue. The sooner you realise that they’re most likely just as terrified and neither of you want to break up, the better. In a young relationship you’re both still getting used to each other and what you do and don’t tolerate. This is bound to lead to some arguments, even when it feels like you should still be in the honeymoon phase. Couples argue; relationship goals is accepting this and trying to minimise the pointless bickering.

4. The moment when… you’re completely relaxed about your other half being out

Relationships are all about trust and can be impossible to sustain if this is missing. The most unbreakable relationships are those in which either person can go out drinking and/or partying without the other getting jealous or possessive. If you trust your other half, it’s unnecessary to bombard them with texts and phone calls. This is their time with their friends and having an obsessive partner lurking in the background is going to put a downer on it.

5. The moment when… you don’t feel like you need to publicise your relationship on social media  

If you’re having a good time together, do you really need to update your Facebook and let everyone know? A cute selfie every once in a while or some fun holiday snaps is fair enough, but couples who are truly content normally feel comfortable enough to keep things subtle. You can tick off another relationship goal if you count yourself among these couples.

6. The moment when… you get into a date night routine

Couples need couple time, and what better way to ensure you’re getting this than to have weekly or fortnightly date nights. Whether it’s heading out for a fancy meal, going to the cinema or having a romantic night in, the most successful couples will make sure they’re having enough one-on-one time. You don’t need to have a schedule or arrange date nights for the same day every week – what’s important is making the time for each other.

7. The moment when… you see their friends as your own

Meeting and getting on with your other half’s friends is incredibly important if you want a future together. Your partner’s pals will most likely end up being some of your best friends in the long term. At a certain point you’ll begin to refer to them as your friends rather than just your partner’s and will feel comfortable arranging to see them without your other half. This is a sign that you’re both invested in the relationship and that you have a promising future together.

8. The moment when… you discuss your future and agree where you’re heading

The most rock solid couples are on the same page when it comes to which direction they’re heading in. It turns out people can have very different expectations of the future. Some want marriage, 2.4 children and a detached house, others are happy with a dog and a successful career. Making sure you’re aware of each other’s expectations is the first step. If there’s anything you disagree on, work out if it’s a deal breaker or if you think compromise is possible on either side. Whatever the outcome, you’ll be stronger for having been honest with each other.

Every couple has their own version of relationship goals. Do what feels right and healthy for you and you can’t go far wrong!

Discover more dating advice, or check out our dating expert’s 5 ways to improve your relationship. Or, if you’re new to dating, memorise some of our go-to first date questions to make things a little more interesting!