1) Have you deleted your exes phone number from your phone yet?
c) I will eventually, but need to arrange to pick up my stuff first.
2) A week after the break-up you were:
a) On another date.
b) Hoping you might bump into your ex.
c) Inconsolable, moping around the house.
3) The prospect of being intimate with someone new fills you with…
4) You hear through the grapevine that your ex has someone new in their life. How do you feel?
a) Pleased for them.
b) You couldn’t really care less.
c) Devastated that they’ve moved on so fast.
5) In an average week, how often do you think about your ex?
a) Hardly ever.
b) Maybe once or twice.
c) All day, every day – everything reminds me of them.
6) Do you ever think about getting back together?
c) All the time.
7) You come across an old photo of the two of you together during happier times. How does it make you feel?
a) Absolutely fine.
b) Tearful and sad.
c) Bitter and angry.
8) Do you fantasize about bumping into your ex with a new partner on your arm looking smoking hot?
a) No not really, but I can’t say I’d be too disappointed if it happened.
b) Absolutely, I want remind them of exactly what they’re missing.
c) Hell yeah. I want them to think I’ve moved on even though I know I haven’t.
9) A friend offers to set you up with a friend. Do you:
a) Jump at the chance.
b) Politely refuse and tell your friend that you’re not ready to start dating again yet.
c) Tell them there’s no point as you’re likely to be back together with your ex soon anyway.
10) How do you feel about revisiting old haunts you used to frequent together like coffee shops and restaurants?
a) It’s a free country and I’ll go where I like. I’m not worried about bumping into my ex.
b) I’m doing my best to avoid them where possible. I don’t want to run the risk of bumping into my ex just yet.
c) I’ve deliberately found some new places with less nostalgic memories attached.
11) Have you ever been struck with a sudden urge to contact your ex?
a) No – and seeing as I’ve deleted their contact details it’s not an option anyway.
b) Yes, I’ve made up a spurious excuse to email them.
c) Yes, but I’ve played it safe with a bit of harmless Facebook stalking instead.
12) How do you feel when you hear certain songs that remind you of your ex?
a) I remember the good times but also remember the bad.
b) It makes me feel sad, but I try not to let on because I know deep down that I’m better off without my ex.
c) I get very upset about what we’ve lost. Things will never be the same again.
Ex-who? You’ve clearly clocked there’s nothing to be gained by obsessing over the past. It sounds like you’re well and truly over your last relationship and ready to start focussing on the future. Well done you.
You need a bit more time to get over your last relationship but you’re not doing anything to help yourself. Delete your ex from your phone, de-friend them on Facebook and stop asking friends for information on what they’ve been up to. Channel your energies into a relationship that’s far more rewarding – we’re talking about the one you have with yourself. Only then will you be truly ready to start dating again.
The way you’re processing this break-up isn’t healthy. You need to take a real break from your past relationship and stop fixating on what they’re doing with their lives now and why you broke up in the first place. Take the focus off your ex and place it firmly on you if you want to move forward. That means clearing your mind of everything that reminds you of them, putting an end to the silly fantasies you might one day get back together and eliminating anything that reminds you of them from your day-to-day life.