What is a Casual Relationship?

Casual dating is a relationship without commitment. You spend time with that person, you go on dates, and you may even sleep with them, but you’re not fully committed. You’re free to see other people and explore your options, but there’s also a chance that the casual relationship could develop into something more serious.

Clearly, this type of relationship is not for everyone, and it only works if both parties are accepting and understanding. So, how does a casual relationship work, what are the pros and cons, and is it a good fit for you?

Defining Casual Relationships

Casual relationships are often both physical and emotional. The couple spend time together and have sex. The defining factor is that there is no commitment, no expectation, and no demands. They don’t expect one another to be exclusive, they acknowledge that other people may be involved, and they maintain a clear boundary between one another.

Why is Casual Dating Popular?

Casual dating is more common now because dating is easier than it has ever been. Singles still face challenges, but the ubiquitous nature of dating apps means it has never been easier to meet new people and explore your options.

The Different Forms of Casual Relationships

A casual relationship may be given one of several different labels depending on the connection that the couple share and the things they do together:

Friends with Benefits

The couple consider themselves to be friends, but with the added “benefit” of regular sex. The relationship is mostly sexual and not romantic, but if the couple are genuine friends, they may also have a strong emotional bond.

No-Strings-Attached

It’s a purely physical relationship with no commitments and no way for any stronger emotional connections to develop. It’s the same thing as a “friend with benefits“, minus an existing friendship.

Short-Term Dating

The couple may just be undergoing a trial period to see if they are compatible. They don’t have a plan for the future and just want to take things as they come, without making any long-term commitments.

Virtual or Online-Only Connections

The relationship only exists in the online space, whether it’s based around an activity, such as an online multiplayer game, or is a long-distance relationship.

The Dynamics of Casual Relationships

For a casual relationship to work, it’s important that you’re both on the same page. Some of the issues to consider include:

Communication and Boundaries

Don’t just assume that you’re in a casual relationship because that’s what you want. Make it clear to your partner that you are still dating and seeing other people. Set boundaries. Establish where you are in the relationship and where you want things to go.

Emotional Attachment and Expectations

If you have a physical relationship and spend a lot of time together, you may become emotionally attached. This is fine if both of you feel the same way, but it becomes a problem if you’re pushing closer and they are pulling away. Acknowledge that this may happen and understand that it may end in tears.

Managing Multiple Partners and Safety

If you’re seeing multiple people, make sure you practice safe sex and don’t put yourself in risky situations. The same applies to the person with whom you have a casual relationship. Just because you’re seeing them on a regular basis doesn’t mean you can throw caution to the wind when it comes to contraception. If you both have multiple sexual partners and are also sleeping with one another, the risk of sexually transmitted infections is high.

Keeping Things Fun and Respectful

A casual relationship should be fun, but it also necessitates a certain level of respect. That person is not a toy that you can use as and when desired. They have a life to lead. They have feelings. So, keep those drunk 2 am booty calls to a minimum.

Dealing with Jealousy and Attachment Issues

If you find yourself getting attached to the person, it could be time to reassess the relationship. Do they feel the same way? A casual relationship doesn’t have to be casual forever. If not, it could be time to pull away from them. Honest and open communication is key.

How to Know if Casual Dating Is Right for You

A casual relationship isn’t for everyone. Some people become attached very quickly and very easily. They don’t want to date multiple people and they struggle with the idea that their sexual partner is out there playing the field. So, consider the following before jumping into no-strings dating:

Do You Get Attached Easily?

Do you find yourself falling deeply in love very early in the relationship? Do you have a history of becoming infatuated with people you barely know? Do you zero in on a single person and obsess over them to the point where it feels like no one else exists? Casual dating will almost certainly cause problems for you if you’re answering affirmatively to these questions. At best, you’ll end up with someone you don’t really care about while obsessing about someone else; at worst, you’ll fall madly in love with that person and will be forced to stand by as they date other people.

Are You the Jealous Type?

You have a great first date with someone. You really like them but don’t quite know if they are “the one“. You have sex, spend more time together, and have fun. Now ask yourself, are you okay with the idea of that person seeing other people and also having sex with them? If that concerns you even in the slightest, casual dating might not be for you.

Are You Ready for Something Bigger?

Sometimes, people want different things. They are at different stages in their life. If you’re young, free, and single, casual dating might seem like the perfect way to have some fun and meet new people. The same is true if you’re coming out of a long-term relationship and don’t want to get tied down again. But if you’re looking to settle down and don’t have time to waste on meaningless relationships, you’ll probably want something more long-term and meaningful.

Do You Have the Time/Energy?

Jealousy and attachment aren’t the only considerations here. Casual dating takes a lot of time and effort. You spend countless hours on dating apps, arrange many dates, and meet lots of new people. If you’re a painfully introverted workaholic, that will sound more terrifying than fun.

You might still be suitable for a casual relationship, as it means you don’t need to make any commitments or find time for a new person in your life. But you probably won’t date as vigorously as your partner, and that could cause some friction down the line.

Pros of Casual Dating

• It’s Fun: Who doesn’t like the idea of playing the field and exploring their options?
• It’s Not Permanent: You’re not making any commitments.
• You Can Explore Your Sexuality: This is your chance to explore and experiment.
• You Could Find Someone Special: By dating lots of people, you could stumble across someone who is perfect for you, at which point you can transition.

Cons of Casual Dating

• You Might Get Jealous: It can be hard for some people to accept that the person they’re with is sleeping with other people.
• Transitioning Can be Hard: If you find someone you really like, there’s no guarantee you’ll be able to transition to a meaningful relationship. It has to be mutual, after all, and they might not be ready.
• There’s Usually One Less-Willing Participant: Although both people may have expressed an interest in keeping things casual, there is often one half of the relationship that’s less willing and more attached.

Conclusion: Is a Casual Relationship Worth It for You?

A casual relationship can be a great way to explore your feelings while having fun. It’s a no-strings-attached relationship where nothing is expected or demanded of you. But it’s not without its complications, including the ever-present threat of that green-eyed monster. So, think it through and make sure this is actually something you want and not just something that the other person is talking you into.

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