Can a Date Be Platonic?

Two people can have strong chemistry without feeling any sexual attraction. It means they share a strong platonic bond. We can answer the question of can a date be platonic in the affirmative but at which point it stops being platonic dating and starts being a friendship is not clear.

Definition of Platonic Dating

Platonic dating is a strange term. After all, dating is defined as a romantic coupling in which two people decide if they are compatible for something more long-term, something involving sex and marriage.

Platonic, on the other hand, means they share a close bond but have no sexual or romantic interest.

It’s an oxymoron—the words don’t work. Or rather, they do, but only when we define it by another word: friendship.

That’s essentially what a platonic relationship is. But there’s more to it than that. It implies that these “friends” have a strong connection and see each other in the context of being a partner, but they don’t have sex, either because they are asexual or are simply not attracted to one another.

So, can a date be platonic? In this context, most definitely!

What is Platonic Dating?

Whether you’re looking to date men or seeking a single woman, relationships are complex. One of the things we shouldn’t do when thinking about a platonic date is attach a label for the sake of it.

For instance, just because a man and a woman are close doesn’t mean they are dating platonically. This is a pretty progressive term, and assuming friendships between men and women are unique is far from progressive.

It’s more about having a special person with whom you share a close bond, someone you have strong feelings for. You act like spouses around each other, and other people probably think you’re together. You also go on dates together, whether it’s a quiet meal or a busy social gathering. But there is nothing sexual between you.

Importance of Platonic Relationships

Every close relationship doesn’t have to be sexual. It’s okay to feel close to a friend and share something akin to romantic relationships, even though there are no such feelings.

But, as noted above, that doesn’t mean everything non-traditional has to be labelled as a platonic relationship! You can be just good friends, and you’d be doing your friend a disservice if you gave it a label like this simply because you’re the opposite sex.

However, if you love that person, go on dates with them, want to spend all of your time with them, and even engage with them like you would a partner—hugging, stroking hair—it could be a platonic relationship.

Platonic Date vs Romantic Date

To address the question of “can a date be platonic or is it always romantic?”, let’s think about the time you spend with a friend you’re close with and love (platonically).

You’re a man, and a female friend who you’ve known all your life invites you out for a beer. You watch a game, drink a few beers, and then decide you’re both hungry. But there’s no food at the bar, so you drop by a new restaurant next door that just happens to be a popular haunt for couples.

You eat by candlelight, enjoy each other’s company—laugh, joke, talk about the things you always talk about—and then go home.

Was that a romantic date? Maybe. Was it anything out of the ordinary for you and this friend you’ve known all of your life? With the exception of candlelight, probably not, and we’d like to think that candles aren’t the thing that turns a casual night into a date!

We love candles as much as the next person, but they’re not that good.

Platonic Dating vs Friendship

There is a very fine line between “platonic dating” and “only friends”, and defining that line is even tougher than answering the question of how can a date be platonic. It’s not about love, as you can love a friend; it’s not limited to new relationships, either, as you can also feel a strong platonic love with someone new who you’ve only known for a short time.

Differences between platonic dating and friendship

If it’s just a couple of friends, how can a date be platonic and not just hanging out among pals? Well, there is no strict definition. It would be hard to describe a close friendship without sounding like you’re describing platonic dating and vice versa. It all depends on the bond you share and the way you feel.

Platonic dating is also more commonly used in the asexual community, where they seek a life partner with whom sex is not the main goal.

Overlap and Boundaries of Platonic Dating

The boundaries of platonic dating are usually sexual, and this is where it gets confusing. If there is an attraction and sex, it transitions to dating. You move from friends to lovers. After all, there are already strong feelings there, so if there is also an attraction, there’s nothing separating it from traditional relationships.

But no one is forcing you to do anything, and you could easily go back to being friends or become friends with benefits.

Is Platonic Relationship Dating?

Platonic relationships are not dating. They straddle the line between close friends and dating.

Exploring the Concept

Whether a date is platonic or romantic largely comes down to intent. If you’re there holding hands, staring longingly into each other’s eyes, sharing desserts, and then kissing at the end of the night, it’s probably more than friendship. If you’re having a burping contest and laughing about the time you let rip in front of the class in Year 3, it’s probably a friendship.

Whether that friendship transcends into a platonic date depends on the label you want to give it. Is that person like a partner to you, only without the sex?

Handling Misinterpretations and Confusion

As noted above, one of the misconceptions is that friendships with the opposite sex need to be defined as platonic dating. But men and women can be friends without romantic intent.

It’s often assumed that people in this situation are asexual. That can be the case, but sometimes, a platonic coupling exists just because there is a strong mental and emotional connection without a physical one.

Communication Tips

Platonic dating should be mutual. The last thing you want is to label a situation as a platonic date, only for the other person to secretly harbour feelings and consider themselves trapped in the friend zone.

Make your intent clear. You don’t need to define your situation as platonic dating, but you should make it clear that it’s nothing more.

Conclusion

Can a date be platonic? Yes. Does it need to be romantic or lead to sex? No. Does it matter if you define such a situation as friends or a platonic relationship? Probably not, but there’s nothing stopping you—do what feels right!

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