Dating tips4 minutes

Just good friends?

Just good friends?

It’s a tricky one to negotiate. You and your friend get on famously. Only problem is you want more. Should you try and take it to the next level or will making a move only sabotage your friendship? Before pouring your heart out, read our guide to when and how to move out of the friend zone.

Nothing compares to you
If you're such good friends that you often wish you were with them instead of your current company there could be potential for a relationship. Even if they're not the kind of person to turn your head, there must be some kind of chemistry between you for you to be so close.

It’s no sacrifice
If you're worried you might lose them as a friend by declaring your feelings, then it might not be worth taking a risk. On the other hand, if they’re not a friend you regularly turn to for support you've got nothing to lose. If you’re prepared to forfeit their friendship, tell them how you feel rather than letting your feelings simmer.

The rules of attraction
Sometimes it’s easy to mistake platonic feelings for romantic ones – especially when you get really close to a friend. Before making a move ask yourself if you really do feel ‘that way’ about them. If you don’t, you risk embarking on something doomed to failure. If you do however, you’ve got all the ingredients for happy cake. Yum.

Know the terrain
It’s dangerous to sail into unchartered waters. Declaring your feelings without knowing what the object of your affections is thinking is a risky business. If thoughts of love haven’t entered their mind they could be shocked and even disturbed by the idea. In this scenario, the fall-out to your friendship could be massive. Only make a move when there’s been a frisson of romance or some flirtation. That way you’re less likely to steer into the rocks.

Don’t follow the herd
Making the gear-change between friendship and romance is sometimes best done in an unusual setting. If you’re both in a wider friendship group, the target of your amore will be conscious that you’re perceived as friends. This can effectively work like a kind of peer pressure. They become less likely to reciprocate for fear of surprising – or providing gossip for – the rest of the circle. Take them out of the group environment – for example a travelling sojourn or a twosome night out – and it could be a whole different story.

How deep is your love?
Before taking the plunge, make sure your feelings are the real deal. If your affections could change with the weather then it’s best to hold off. Declaring your love one minute, then splitting up with them the next is likely to leave your relationship dead, buried and decomposed. For it to work, make sure you’re in it for the long-haul. 

The survey says
Not sure whether to tell them how you feel? Do yourself a favour: consult some special advisers. Chances are the collective brain of your mutual friends will be a pretty sound judge of whether it’s the right move. If they wrinkle their nose at the idea, it’s probably best to think again. If, on the other hand, they’ve always secretly wanted you two to get together, you’re onto a winner.  

Suits you sir
Friendship isn’t the only measure of compatibility. It’s possible to get on famously with someone who has a wildly different lifestyle to you. Just because you have a laugh together, doesn’t mean you should have babies together. Before mating with your mate, think about whether you want the same things. If you do, you’ve got a much better chance of hitting it off as a couple.

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