How to Attract Him With Text Messages: A Complete Guide

In decades gone by, relationships began with cheesy chat-up lines and awkward icebreakers, before progressing to anxious phone calls. These days, it’s all about instant messages and texts. You can convey a lot with a few simple lines, and if you get it right, you can win any guy over.

So, let’s look at some texts that will make him want you, including top tips on seducing a man via text.

The Art and Science of Texting

Most modern men communicate via text, as opposed to phone calls. It’s quick and simple. It’s also non-intrusive and relaxed, thus eliminating the potential awkwardness that can come with calling someone you like but barely know.

The best texts are short, sweet, and personal. There is no “ideal” text that suits every person in every situation, and even if there was, it would have been copy-pasted so much that it would now be a tired cliché. The goal, therefore, is to judge the situation and the individual and then adapt your texts accordingly.

The purpose of texting in relationships

How do text messages make a difference and why do they matter? After all, if the goal is to see the other person and be with them, shouldn’t you just arrange to meet up and get it over with?

Well, yes, but maintaining a text conversation between those meetings can provide a number of benefits:

• Learn more about the person
• Keep their interest
• Make him miss you
• Make him smile and think of you

Just as importantly, in the early stages of a relationship, text messages can give nervous individuals a relaxed and confident platform on which they can express themselves. They can say things they might not be comfortable saying in person, and thus feel more relaxed when they eventually meet.

Dos and don’ts of texting

• Do keep your texts short
• Don’t limit them to just one-word messages like “hey” and “okay”
• Do encourage them to talk about themselves
• Don’t make it all about you
• Do be cute, interesting, and funny when it suits
• Don’t try to force humour and make it awkward
• Do wish them good morning and good night
• Don’t send long strings of messages without a reply
• Do make them feel special
• Don’t get too personal
• Do send them more messages when they seem down or need support
• Don’t send flirty texts during inappropriate times (such as funerals)
• Do make it original and interesting
• Don’t rely on worn out jokes and cliches

Best Text Messages That Will Make Him Want You

Here are some examples of tried-and-tested messages that should make him interested and get the reaction you seek:

Compliments that make his day

Everyone loves being complimented, whether you’re dating a man or dating a woman, it never hurts to pay them a compliment. Find something you like and say it:

• I love your outfit today
• Seeing your smile makes my day
• You’re so funny!
• You always know how to cheer me up!

Flirty texts to spark his interest

Stir up those feelings by sending flirty texts that make him want you:

• I had an NSFW dream about you last night…
• I miss you like crazy. I wish you could be here right now
• I wish you were here with me right now

Personal texts to show you care

Ask him about his day and try to be specific, referencing particular issues with family, friends, and work. It shows that you care, but it also shows that you pay attention when he tells you things.

• Are you worn out after seeing your family today?
• How did your appointment this morning?
• How was your boss at work today?

Funny texts to make him laugh

Comment on something you saw in the news. Mention an experience that you both had. Describe a funny thing that happened to you. Everyone loves to laugh and they love the people that can make them laugh.

The occasional odd and crazy text is fine too. It’s perfect for showing your quirky side and will definitely grab their attention.

Say it with pictures

Send selfies. Send pictures of your pets doing funny stuff. Pictures are a great way to show you’re thinking about them, as you took the time to take it and send it. Needless to say, guys also love messages that are sexy, fun, and intended for their eyes only.

The Importance of Timing in Texting

After reading the above, you might be ready to experiment with a few text messages. But before you rush off and send everything today, remember that when you send them is just as important as what you send. Timing is key.

When to send flirty texts

Flirty messages are great for breaking the ice on date night and can also be sent early on in a relationship, such as after the first date. They say men are only after one thing. That’s not true, but it’s certainly going to be on his mind.

If you’re comfortable doing so, you can even send a flirty text message in place of a greeting. But, of course, jumping straight into flirt mode isn’t always suitable and is definitely not the best option if they’re a colleague you barely know.

When to send deep, meaningful texts

These are best reserved for a little later in the relationship. You don’t want to overload the guy with deep messages before you meet or even just after. On the one hand, you want to let them know that you’re a deep person capable of such messages, but at the same time, discussing an existential crisis after your first date will scare them away.

When to text goodnight messages

When do you go to bed? If you’re worn out at 8 pm, have a very early morning, and are going to bed, it’s a good time to send him a goodnight message. But remember, it’s not just about you. If he’s not much of a night owl, you probably shouldn’t be sending a goodnight message at 3 in the morning before you hit the hay.

Reflections on Texting Etiquette

• The fine line between persistent and annoying: It’s okay to send multiple messages without a reply, but there’s a limit. If he’s not replying, don’t bombard him with queries. There’s a reason, and probably a good one, but if you keep messaging him, it will turn into a bad one very quickly.
• How to respond to his texts: Ask questions, match his tone, and be as personal and flirty as him.
• Keeping the mystery alive: Don’t reveal everything about your life and personality over text. Leave something for when you meet in person.

Strategies to Avoid Over-Texting

Struggling to find the right frequency? Guys love to be the centre of your attention, but they don’t want to feel pressured or harassed. The occasional flirty text is fine, as are texts that make them smile and brighten up their day. But if you cross the line they may be groaning rather than smiling when they hear their phone ping.

Learning to take a step back

It’s important to practice a little self-awareness when texting. You may feel like the conversation is flowing freely and you’re both having fun, but if you look back, you could find that you’re doing most of the talking and they’re just replying with one or two words.

In the moment, it feels like a conversation, and that could still be the case. But they might also be skimming most of what you’re saying and praying that you’ll stop.

So, check the conversation, make sure it’s balanced, and try to rein it in if you discover that you’re doing most (or all) of the talking.

Balance texting and face-to-face communication

Too many texts make for boring and even pointless encounters, as you may feel like you already know everything about them. You can’t break the ice with questions like, “So, what do you do for work?” and “How do you spend your days?” when you know exactly what they do for a living and have a play-by-play of everything they did yesterday and the day before.

Try to create a balance between texts and face-to-face communication, even if you’re doing the latter over video chats, as opposed to actual meetings.

Common Texting Mistakes That Can Put Him Off

• Too much, too soon: It’s okay to get personal if you’re looking for a serious relationship. It’s even okay to discuss bad relationships in the past, assuming he broached the subject first and the timing is right. But it’s not okay to divulge all of this information right away. Wear your heart on your sleeve, but don’t blurt out everything that’s on your mind.
• Neglecting other forms of communication: Text messages aren’t the only way to communicate. They should serve as a bridge between meetings. Call him, meet him, and consider getting on a few video calls as well.
• Miscommunication and assumptions: One of the downsides of text messages is that it can be hard to convey meaning. If you’re unsure, ask and don’t assume; if you’re worried that your messages will be taken the wrong way, express intent using emojis.

Conclusion

Whether you’re a texting pro or a complete novice, and whether you’re looking for a quick fling or want to make him fall in love, the above tips should help you find the right messages at the right time. Remember:

• Make it about him, not you
• Show that you’re a good listener and remember things about him
• Don’t overdo it and start pestering him
• Read the room—if you’re getting one-word, disinterested replies, switch it up
• Timing is everything

FAQ

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