How to Get a Girlfriend

Arguably, it’s easier than ever to find a suitable partner. In the past, your options were limited to local singles, colleagues, and strangers you met in pubs. These days, thanks to dating sites like Match, you’re always a few clicks away from new potential matches. But while dating sites can help you to connect with suitable matches, we can’t give you confidence or make you a master communicator; we can’t take the reins of the relationship and ensure everything runs smoothly.

We can, however, give you some tips for handling the dating process and make it easier for a single man such as yourself to get a new girlfriend.

Understanding Yourself

There are usually three types of people who have struggled for a long time to find a girlfriend:

• Those with little time (too much work/study)
• Those who blame others
• Those who blame themselves

In all cases, you need to learn more about yourself.

If you’re in the first category, it suggests that a little re-evaluation is needed. Clearly, you want a girlfriend, otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this. And if that’s the case, it means finding love/companionship is important, so you need to make time for it.

If you’re in the second group, you have to understand that the issues lie with you, not others. It’s not that you live in a small town with few opportunities, because nothing is limiting you to that town. If your argument is that women are not giving you a chance, it’s because they’re seeing something they don’t like, be it arrogance, lack of self-confidence, or something else.

As for the final category, while you do need to work on yourself, you shouldn’t get too disheartened and dispirited. If you let yourself believe that no one will want you, it’ll make you very negative, miserable, and unapproachable, and those are huge turn-offs for women.

Work on the following:

Recognise your strengths

Focus on what makes you a good match. You probably know what you’re looking for in others and what makes a woman a good match. Now give yourself the same treatment and think about what makes you unique. It could be humour, intelligence or even success —there’s always something.

Acknowledge your weaknesses

Once you have your strengths, you need to acknowledge your weaknesses. Some can be fixed; most can be overlooked. By recognising them, you’ll know not to mention them and to promote the positives ahead of the negatives.

Developing Confidence

Girls love confident men, so sharpen those skills!

• Boost your self-esteem: You’re a great guy. You have a lot going for yourself. Tell yourself that and believe it.
• Practice assertiveness: Understand what you want and how to get it. Be clear and decisive.
• Importance of body language: Don’t hunch or look away. Sit straight and make eye contact.
• Don’t stress: Don’t overthink everything, as it’ll make you worse. Just let what happens happen.
• It’s not just you: Remember, women are nervous too. Just like you, they want to make a good impression in the beginning and they want to foster a good relationship thereafter. They are not cold, callous, and uber-confident machines, so you’re not alone.

The Art of Communication

Conversation is key. Whether you’re communicating online or in person, women will pay close attention to what you say and how you say it, so work on the following:

How to start a conversation

Forget about cheap chat-up lines. They can work, but only if the woman already thinks you’re cute and is willing to overlook the cringe. Instead, look for a commonality, such as an interest that you share.

If you’re sparking a conversation online, that could mean commenting on their love of dogs or the fact they support Manchester United, even if you’re gently ribbing them by reminding them City are better. It beats “what’s up?” and “hi”, which is shockingly how many men choose to start an online conversation.

Techniques of active listening

Listen when they speak and show that you are listening by asking relevant questions. Girls want someone who pays attention, a boyfriend who actively takes an interest in them and will console them. Show them you can be that person.

Mastering the art of small talk

The trick to small talk is to make it bigger. By that, we mean you should switch to interesting topics as soon as possible. If you’re talking to them like a neighbour you’ve just bumped into while putting the bins out, you’re doomed (“nice weather we’re having”).

Making a First Impression

A good first impression is everything:

• Importance of grooming: Cut your hair, trim your beard, iron your clothes, and take a shower. You’ll feel more confident and assured, and single women will want to date you. You might not notice the differences, but they will.
• Pick the right attire: Keep the band tees and scruffy jeans in the closet. Dress for the occasion and dress to impress.
• Show respect: Forget about “treat ’em mean, keep ’em keen”. This is not the 1960s. Women want men who know how to treat them with kindness and respect.

Where to Meet Girls

There are many places to meet women in the United Kingdom, and that’s true regardless of your age, hobbies, preferences, and even how much free time you have.

Offline locations

The pub is still an option when looking for a new girlfriend. It’s not the best way, but the atmosphere is lively and everyone is looking to have fun, so it can be a good option. Take a friend, look for groups of single women, and remember to stay respectable and courteous.

Interest groups (book clubs, crafting clubs, gaming clubs) are a good option too. Not every place is suitable for meeting women, though. Some couples have met at the gym, but for every successful gym meetup, you’ll find hundreds of women complaining about being hit on while trying to work out. The same is true for places like the supermarket. If you do approach a woman in a place like this, don’t pester them, recognise the signs, and leave before you make them uncomfortable.

Online platforms

Whether you’re looking for single men or single women, you can’t overlook online dating. Sites like Match are great places to find a girlfriend. You will find a huge number of single women here, and with such a large member base, you’re always guaranteed to find suitable matches in your town or city.

Away from dating sites, you could try online communities and groups—anything devoted to a hobby is a great option as it means you’ll share an interest and can easily break the ice.

How to Approach a Girl

How you approach a girl differs whether it’s happening online or offline.

Approaching in person

The one thing to keep in mind when approaching a girl in person is to always be respectable. Don’t approach them if they are with someone who could be a boyfriend, and don’t hassle them when they are trying to go about their daily life. Look for a spark of recognition—something in their body language that suggests they are interested.

Catch their eye, wait until they are ready, and approach.

Break the ice with a joke or observation but skip the cheesy chat-up lines. If you can, mention a shared interest.

Approaching online

Online is a little easier, but it’s also easier to get it wrong. The fact that you’re behind a computer or device means you’ll be more confident and comfortable, but that could lead you to saying things you wouldn’t say in real life. If you meet someone in a bar, you wouldn’t approach them, say “what’s up?” and then wait for them to say something interesting. It would be weird. Yet, men do this all of the time online.

Read their profile and show that you have read it. Don’t send a short and dull message and don’t send something that was clearly copied and pasted to every suitable woman within range. Women will appreciate you more if you have read their profile and share an interest. They are also not averse to the odd compliment, so let loose!

Summary: How to Get a Girlfriend

Your perfect dream date is not going to fall in your lap and make your life complete. You need to put the work in, which means assessing your situation, focusing on what makes you unique, playing to your strengths, and improving your approach game. If you are willing to devote the time and effort, that special relationship could be yours before you know it.

So, start making some big changes, and let Match be your guide to a new relationship!

 

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