How to Get Over Your Ex: A Comprehensive Guide

The end of a relationship can be tough. If you were together a long time and the break was unexpected, it will hit you even harder and may feel like the end of an era. But you don’t need to have been in a long-term relationship to suffer during a breakup.

So, what should you do to get over your ex and get your love life (and life in general) back on track?

Understanding the Grieving Process

You will undergo somewhat of a grieving process after a breakup. No one has died, but you’ve still lost someone. That person was a major part of your life, and now they’re gone. So, while it sounds dramatic, you are grieving.

Accepting the Breakup

You’re going to be tempted to try and get them back. You might beg and plead. You’re probably going to say and do things you’ll regret in a few weeks. It’s normal, and while it’s easier said than done, you need to keep your distance.

Accept the breakup and try to stay strong. If you don’t accept it, you can’t move on.

Emotional Stages Post-Breakup

Everyone’s mind and situation are different, so everyone will have their own unique reactions to a breakup. However, the process usually looks something like this:

• Denial: ‘They didn’t really break up with me. They will take me back soon.’
• Anger: ‘How dare she break up with me?’
• Bargaining: ‘Please take me back. I’ll change. I’ll work on myself, on us. I’ll be the perfect person for you.’
• Depression: ‘Why do they hate me? Why does everyone hate me? What’s even the point?’
• Acceptance: ‘It’s fine. I will meet someone else.’

Strategies to Move On

Need some tips on how to get over your ex quickly? Check out the following.

Cultivating self-love and care

Spend some time working on your mental health, as it will take a hit at a time like this. Eat well, exercise, and don’t resort to alcohol and other self-destructive habits. Self-care is not only important for health reasons, but it’ll also ensure that when you’re ready to move on you’ll be confident, gorgeous, and ready to go!

Finding support through friends and family

You will feel better after talking to friends and family, even if you’re just moaning about your partner and listening as they tell you that you can do so much better. It’s good to vent—it could be your step toward emotional freedom.

The importance of no contact

It’s important to break contact with your ex, at least for a few weeks or months. Not only will it prevent you from sending desperate messages, but it’ll help you to keep your emotions in check.

Change your mindset and focus on personal growth

One of the mistakes that people make in this situation is focusing too much on the past.

• ‘We had something good’
• ‘They loved me once; they can love me again’

Or worse, they feel like they are entitled to that person’s time, thoughts, and love:

• ‘Let’s just talk it through.’
• ‘Why aren’t you talking to me?’
• ‘I NEED to talk to you.’

Try to put yourself in their shoes for a moment—this attitude will make you hate them, not love them. It’s hard, but instead of trying desperately to reconnect, think more about the things you can do now that you’re not tied down to a relationship. You can meet new people and enjoy more personal time. There are many single men and single women in the world who will be eager to date you. What’s more, if there actually is a chance of getting back together, hassling them will ruin it.

Releasing Emotional Baggage

Once you’ve tackled the chaos and heartbreak of the early days, it’s time to tackle some of that emotional baggage and get your mental health back on track. Here are some tips:

• Remember the bad, as well as the good. We tend to focus on positive memories and forget that things could be bad too. After all, there’s a reason your relationship didn’t work out.
• Keep a journal of your thoughts, focusing on the positives.
• Work on your body and mind (meditation, exercise, clean eating)
• Seek help from a therapist or relationship coach.

Stay for the course. It can take a long time to get over someone, so prepare to ride it out.

Navigating Social Media and Mutual Connections

In the always-connected world, it’s harder to disconnect from individuals than ever, but there are a few ways to sever those digital ties:

• Change your statuses on social media accounts
• Remove digital reminders, such as cover photos where you’re both together
• Disconnect from group chats that include them
• Stay polite and neutral during encounters you can’t avoid
• Consider blocking them if you think it will help

Rediscovering Happiness and Fulfilment

You don’t need a relationship to feel happy and fulfilled, and you definitely don’t need that other person to live a normal life. You managed before them and you will manage after them.

Create a routine that isn’t structured around them and ensure you’re set up to live independently. If you were with them for a long time and lived together, this will be tough, but going through all of those steps (changing bill-paying information, separating joint assets) will make this emotional process very clinical and that could actually help you to heal.

Look into singles events and spend more time doing things alone and with friends, such as going to the cinema, concerts, shopping, and even visiting family members during the holidays.

New hobbies will help too. Even if you have hobbies that you did alone in the past, getting new ones will give you somewhere to invest your time, money, and emotions. It’s better to obsess about your new passion for knitting, painting, reading, or even watching horror films than to invest all of that energy into thinking about your ex.

The Role of Time in Healing

They say that time heals all wounds, and it’s true…unless that wound is a flesh wound, in which case you should really get it checked out.

In the beginning, the wound of a relationship breakup will be deep and raw. It will feel like it’s only going to get worse and that nothing you do will heal it. Deep down, you know that’s not true, but it’s hard to accept that fact and think about the future when you’re in the midst of an emotional breakdown.

Just know that it will get better and you will get over your ex. It might take days. It might take weeks. If you were together for a long time and were heavily dependent on them, it could even take months. But that time will come eventually and the way you’re feeling right now will be a distant memory.

Celebrate milestones as the small victories that they are. First Christmas without them? That’s a big win. Got through an anniversary or their birthday without evening thinking about them? You’re on the right track.

Conclusion: Reclaiming Your Post-Breakup Life

It’s time to let go of past relationships and embrace the dating world once again. There are scores of single men and women in your area who would love to hear your jokes, discuss your opinions, and share your hobbies with you, It might feel like the end of an era right now, but that only means that a new one is just around the corner.

So, work on yourself, get over them, and then get out there and see what new opportunities are waiting for you.

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