The real answer to the eternal question of how long it takes to get over someone is this: it varies for everyone. The length of the relationship, strength of feelings involved, reason for the breakup, along with a myriad of other factors, can result in the “getting over your ex” phase taking anything from a few hours to actual years.
Not knowing when things will get better can make the healing process feel endless. But there are plenty of things you can do to make it easier and speedier. Check out our suggestions and you might be ready to get back into the online dating game sooner than you expected!
1. Cut off all contact
If you’re certain you’ve made the right decision and aren’t considering a reconciliation, it’s essential that you cut off all forms of contact until you’re over each other. Delete their number if you don’t think you’ll be able to resist temptation at 4am after too many pints.
Of course it’s completely possible for exes to be friends, but maintaining contact while there are still fresh feelings will only stunt your attempts to get over them. Remember you broke up for a reason! So save the friendship until you’re certain that there are no romantic feelings left between the two of you.
2. Stop stalking them on social media
We know what you’ve been up to! It’s human nature to want to check what your ex is up to, especially after a very recent breakup, but it will only rub salt in the wounds and force you to dwell over such questions as “Why are they having so much fun?” “Why are they having so much more fun than me?” or “Why are they having so much fun with another guy/girl?!”
Don’t do it to yourself. Block them, even unfriend them if you need to. You can always extend the olive branch again once you’ve got over them, if you do want a friendship.
3. Stop moping
This is definitely easier said than done, but sometimes you just need to hear it. Everyone goes through the mopey phase after a breakup – try to make yours as short as possible. Ask your friends to pull you out of it with a bit of tough love. It’s not fun to be a mopey person or to be around one, so it’s better for everyone involved if you come out of the other side quickly.
The quicker you’re able to show your face in public without feeling like you’ll burst into tears if someone looks at you, the quicker the moving on process will be.
4. Spend time with your family and friends
Your family and friends are the real constants in your life, and you’ll never feel this more than when you’re going through a breakup. You might feel guilty for monopolising their time, but they know that you’d do the same for them if the shoe was on the other foot.
If you have more free time post-breakup, it might even be the perfect opportunity to reconnect with old friends who you’ve lost touch with. Don’t forget to show your appreciation to the people who help you through this hard time – imagine how much harder it would have been without them!
5. Start dating again
When you feel ready, put yourself out there and start meeting people. This will distract you from thinking about your ex, give you something to concentrate on and boost your confidence, all things that will help you get over your lost love.
If you were in a long-term relationship the idea of dating again might be daunting, but the longer you leave it, the more terrifying it will seem. Bite the bullet and register with Match, the online dating experts. We’ll help you find the perfect person to launch you back into the dating world.
6. Try something new
Most breakups result in you suddenly having a lot more free time on your hands. Why not make the most of this opportunity and take up a new hobby? Maybe you’ve always wanted to try pottery, squash or yoga. Or perhaps you fancy taking on the challenge of learning to play the bassoon.
Whatever it is, now’s your chance! A new focus is exactly what you need to help you move on and keep yourself busy. It’s also a great way to meet new people and widen your pool of potential dates once you’re ready to jump back into the dating game.
7. Do what you need to make you feel good about yourself
Breakups knock most people’s confidence and it can take time to gain it back. Not having a partner there when you need a confidence boost takes some getting used to, but if you’ve made the right decision it won’t be long until your confidence is back to where it was and then some.
If getting fit will boost your self-esteem, join that gym. If you fancy splurging on some new clothes, splash that cash. Whatever it may be, treat yourself to what you want – it’s the least you owe yourself after struggling through such a hard time.
So there you have it: we might not be able to tell you how long it will take to get over your ex, but we can give you ways to speed up the process. Now that you’re single, if you’re ready to mingle, register with Match for free. Or, check out our guides to how to break up with someone and how to get back into dating post-breakup.