Am I ready for a relationship?

Are you ready for a new relationship? First assess your situation and practice a little self-reflection. Consider if you are ready emotionally, as well as mentally, and then ask yourself exactly what you’re looking for. The journey ahead will be easier and more interesting with a little preparation.

Signs that you might be ready for a relationship

‘Am I ready for a relationship?’.

It’s a question that many people ask themselves at one point and one that is often put to therapists and psychologists.

A relationship is a big step. You could be putting yourself out there, making yourself vulnerable. If you’re not in a great place—whether because you’ve never been in a relationship and have some personal issues or because you recently broke up with a long-term partner—you’ll want to be sure that you’re ready.

Here are a few signs that suggest you’re ready to take the leap:

Self-awareness and reflection

Do you really know yourself?

It seems like a silly question to ask. You’re you—who could possibly know you better? But we tend to lie to ourselves and ignore issues.

It’s self-preservation. It’s your subconscious’s way of saying, ‘If I don’t accept the issue, I don’t have to address it’.

So, if you’re asking, ‘am I ready for a relationship?’ make sure you’re also asking:

• Do I know my strengths and weaknesses?
• Do I know what I want from a relationship and life in general?
• What are my goals?
• What do I value the most?

If you have the answers, you’re ready. If not, go back to the drawing board with some introspection! It’s not as exciting as us telling you to get out there and see what you find, but it will make the journey far more interesting.

Emotional readiness

You meet someone new. You like them. They are exactly what you need right now, and you think you’re falling in love. After a few weeks, something changes; they no longer seem interested, and you go from mentally planning your life with them—marriage, a house, a family, the works—to getting the dreaded message that it’s over.

Can you handle that? Can you deal with everything that comes after the excitement?

Dating is a roller-coaster ride. There will be times when you’re feeling on top of the world, times when you’re frustrated that it’s not working, and times when it just ends without explanation.

It’s all part of the adventure, and as it helps to build confidence and experience, it’s worth it in the end. But that only applies if you can take those hits on the chin and get straight back into the action.

Willingness to compromise

One of the first things you learn about relationships is that compromise is essential.

People who have been single for a while often struggle with this fact. They are used to their independence. They are in control of their own lives, so they have things their own way. In a relationship, however, you have someone else’s needs to consider.

It stops being about ‘me’ and starts being about ‘us’.

Ability to trust and communicate

Relationships thrive on mutual respect and trust. You have to trust your partner, and you should expect the same degree of trust in return.

You should be more comfortable talking to your partner than you are talking to your best friend or family. Don’t leave anything unsaid; don’t bottle anything up.

Factors indicating you might not be ready for a relationship

An unwillingness to trust, an inability to communicate and compromise, and a lack of self-awareness aren’t the only things that can indicate unreadiness for dating.

Past baggage and unresolved issues

You shouldn’t take old baggage into new relationships. It’s not healthy for you, and it’s not fair on your new partner.

Work through them first. Do what it takes to clear your head and get to a point where you’re not constantly thinking about a person who let you down or an issue that greatly affected you.

It’s normal to still think about exes, especially if you were together for many years. The fact that they are still stored somewhere in the back of your mind and still make you angry and upset doesn’t mean you’re not ready for someone new.

But if those feelings are all-consuming and are stopping you from making your new partner a priority, you’re not ready.

Lack of self-confidence

You can be good-looking, intelligent, and successful, but if you’re not self-confident, you will struggle to start a relationship and make it work.

Confidence is everything. Being able to see the bright side and love yourself is often the first step to finding someone special and accepting that you deserve to be happy. With confidence, you won’t be troubled if dating doesn’t immediately work, and if anything goes wrong, you can style it out, shrug it off, and move on.

Fear of intimacy or commitment

A relationship is a commitment. You’re giving yourself to that person and exchanging trust and respect.

It can also lead to an official commitment, whether by agreeing to marry, live together, or have children.

Before you reach that stage, it’s just casual dating. And that’s okay, but you shouldn’t lead someone down the road to a relationship if you have no intention of stopping off when you get there.

Unhealed emotional wounds

Oftentimes, when someone asks, ‘Am I ready for a relationship?’, what they are really asking is, ‘Have I gotten over my previous relationships?’

Only you can know this. What we can tell you, however, is that dating again is not a magical hair-of-the-dig cure that will fix your issues.

The healing comes first; a new relationship is the next step.

Steps to take before entering a new relationship

If you have answered the question of ‘Am I ready for a new relationship?’ in the affirmative, it’s time for some self-reflection.

Think about:

• What went wrong in your previous relationships
• What you didn’t like about those relationships
• The mistakes you made and what you could do better
• The type of person you were and how your partner may have perceived you
• How you could be a better partner

Be honest with yourself. It’ll be tough if you feel like you were wronged in those relationships, but no one is ever 100% at fault for a breakup, and there may have been things you did, didn’t do, said, or didn’t say that could have prevented those issues.

With these reflections in mind, you’ll be better equipped to handle the next step.

Seek professional help if needed

Trauma doesn’t always resolve with time. If you’re dealing with an issue that won’t go away, or you get the feeling that it’s weighing you down and preventing you from doing what you want, seek professional help.

There is no shame in seeing a therapist. They’re equipped to help people with all kinds of issues and from all walks of life, whether it’s a young man/woman upset about infidelity or an older one getting over the loss of a loved one.

Work on personal growth and development

Focus on your own health, desires, and aspirations, and don’t let your need to be with someone new overpower your needs.

You have a chance to work on yourself, and that invitation to a period of self-discovery and self-improvement will continue during the early stages of your relationship.

It’s the perfect chance to improve your emotional, mental, and physical health while working on your confidence and style and finding some new hobbies.

Set healthy boundaries

We tend to be very forgiving during the early stages of a relationship. New couples often wear blinkers, blinding themselves to red flags, confusing unwelcome behaviour with loving traits and setting dangerous precedents:

• They’re not too clingy; they’re just very loving.

• They don’t ask too many personal questions; they just want to know me better.

• They might be jealous, but I don’t mind it when they check my phone or track my location.

• They might not want me to see my friends, but I will probably make new friends anyway.

• They constantly criticise my hobbies, looks, and style, but they just want to help me improve for the better.

Don’t slip into these thought patterns. Set boundaries as early as you can. It will be difficult to put your foot down later.

There might come a time when you’re happy to fully devote yourself to that person, but you’re not there yet, so you shouldn’t be making so many sacrifices.

Focus on building a strong foundation for yourself

Start building a future for yourself. Change what you don’t like. Get rid of the toxic people in your life.

The end of one relationship and the start of another is a good time to transition, whether that means completely changing up your style and interests or just devoting more time to self-care.

Conclusion

The only person who can really answer the question of, ‘Am I ready for a new relationship?’ is the person asking it.

Reflect on your previous relationships, think about your needs and wants, and consider the future.

If you decide that you are indeed ready, take the next step by signing up for an account at Match today. Date in style with our massive community of singles, secure messaging, compatibility features, and more.

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