How do I get a boyfriend? The complete guide

If you’re looking for love, start by focusing on yourself. What are you searching for? What would the perfect guy be like? When you’re ready, go to social gatherings and join a dating site while staying positive and growing your experience with every date.

Understanding yourself

How do I get a boyfriend is not the first question you should be asking yourself.

There are 4 billion males on this planet. They won’t all have what you’re looking for.

Do they prefer to spend their evenings at a bar or bingeing the latest Netflix series? Do they like the same music and films or will you be suppressing a cringe and planning to wash your hair when they invite you to a concert?

Before you ask, how do I get a boyfriend, ask yourself:

• What do I seek most in a partner?
• Am I ready for a serious relationship or just seeing what’s out there?
• Who is the perfect guy for me?
• Do I have enough self-confidence to chase the men I want and deserve?

Once you reassess, you’re ready for the next step, and this is where the journey to a new and exciting relationship begins!

Assessing your desires and goals

You don’t have to know exactly what you want from a relationship.

No one really knows that. Sometimes, the best ones come along when we’re least ready and the greatest moments happen when we least expect them.

It helps to understand the motives behind your actions, though, and it could save you a lot of heartbreak.

Men and women who know what they want often get it, as they are less willing to waste time on guys who can’t give it to them. This is especially true if you’re dating online, as there is a huge pool of single guys out there. You can afford to be picky.

If you chat with everyone with whom you have even a fleeting interest, you’ll spend all of your time in conversations that go nowhere and on dates that don’t have any chemistry.

So, ask yourself:

• Where should my boyfriend live? Am I prepared to travel, or does he need to live nearby?
• What family situation is ideal? There will be widows and divorced men, as well as single dads . Go with the option that makes you the most comfortable.
• What do I value the most? These are the deal breakers. If music is your life, you probably shouldn’t look for someone who is completely disinterested. If you’re political, look for someone with similar beliefs.
• What are my red flags? It’s easy to ignore red flags if you find a man who has some of the things you want. So, clarify what things are an absolute no-go before you date, and remind yourself of them when you lay eyes on a chiselled Adonis with more red flags than a Liverpool home game.
• What do I want? This is your life, so make sure it goes the way you want it. You need someone who shares similar desires when it comes to settling down, getting married, and having kids.

Building confidence and independence

Dating can be daunting if you lack the experience, but as with everything else, it gets easier with practice.

In the beginning, those first dates will be nervy affairs, and you won’t always get your personality across. Eventually, you’ll relax more and express yourself more, making it easier to leave a good first impression and deduce if the guy sitting opposite and smiling into his mocha latte is a good fit.

Go on more dates and take more chances. Do the things that make you anxious, such as going on a date without support from your friend, chatting with a handsome guy at the bar, or agreeing to go for a coffee after a few instant messages.

Confidence is everything, and experience is the only thing that will get you there.

That doesn’t mean you should put yourself in dangerous situations, though.

Always give a friend details of where you’re going and when you’re expected to return. Never agree to a first date at their house or in a quiet and secluded place. And if the date isn’t going well and there is no connection, don’t feel obligated to hang around. Finish up quickly, thank them for a lovely evening, and then catch a taxi home—there’s always another guy and another night.

Developing a positive self-image

Staying positive will help you spot red flags and back away from unhealthy relationships and situations.

It’s easier said than done, of course, and if you’ve had difficult relationships in the past, self-confidence won’t come easy.

It’s all about keeping a positive mindset and listening to what people say.

When you post a picture on social media, don’t ignore all the positive comments and zero in on the negative ones. Don’t worry about what they really mean when they say something positive, as they probably mean exactly what they say, and you’re just reading too much into it.

Once you create a dating profile, you’ll likely get a few messages from interested guys. You will get complimented. You will get an ego boost. And you should embrace it!

You don’t owe them anything and shouldn’t feel obligated to reply just because they complimented you. If you like them, go for it; if not, move on and remind yourself that you’re amazing and you can win over any man you want!

Meeting new people

After focusing on your emotional and mental health, you’re ready for the next step—start looking for some single, handsome men!

Exploring different social settings

Oftentimes, if you ask someone ‘how do I get a boyfriend?’ they’ll ask if you’re looking.

If the answer is no, we don’t need to say anymore.

Mr. Right won’t just fall into your lap.

If you answer in the affirmative but proceed to mention that you dismiss everyone you encounter and refuse to meet anyone new, it’s no wonder!

First impressions are important, but they’re not everything, and if you reject everyone based on an anxious first message, the perfect person could pass you by.

Change things up by putting yourself in various social situations. You’re not just looking to meet someone; you’re there to change your mindset and learn that you can have a lot of fun with people who don’t match 100% of your criteria.

Try the following:

• Pubs and clubs
• Live music venues
• Gyms
• Singles holidays
• Long dog walks in the park
• A party or quiet gathering at a friend’s house
• A sports event

Utilising online dating platforms

Platforms like Match are perfect for single men and women.

We invite singles of all ages and preferences and have one of the biggest singles communities in the United Kingdom.

It’s safe and secure, and there are various tools to help you find the perfect person, including search filters and secure messaging.

Engaging in hobbies and activities

Do what you love—you could find someone who loves it just as much.

Take a cooking class or crafts class; go swimming or jogging; watch some shows at the theatre; join a local club or group.

If you meet someone interesting, you’ll have a great icebreaker, as you share a similar interest. If not, at least you’ll have fun exploring your hobbies.

Building relationships

It takes a lot of effort to build a worthwhile relationship.

Even if you’re perfect for each other, there will still be some things to work through and some questions to address:

• Are you going to live together?
• When will you meet each other’s friends and family?
• Where do you both want to be a year or two from now?
• Do you trust each other?
• Are you both satisfied sexually and romantically?

Establishing genuine connections

Would you be happy if your partner tried to force a particular belief or interest onto you? Probably not.

Would you be accepting if their friend was clearly using them? Definitely not, and you should be more understanding if they have the same concerns about your friends.

In the early stages, there are a lot of hormones flying around. They have a way of blurring the lines between right/wrong, so it helps to take a step back, judge the situation analytically, and remain understanding.

You have something good, so nurture it, and don’t expect anything of them that you wouldn’t expect of yourself.

Nurturing compatibility and mutual interest

A good tip for any new relationship is to focus on the areas where you match and not the ones where you don’t.

In other words, don’t overthink the fact that you have a different taste in music, and emphasise your joint love of film or video gaming.

Spend more time together doing things that you both enjoy, as opposed to having one night for your hobbies and another for theirs.

If there are very few shared interests and hobbies, try new things!

Do something that neither of you has done before, and see if you can find a shared passion.

Communicating effectively and expressing interest

Guys like women who try to show an interest in what they do, as well as women who communicate clearly and don’t hide their true feelings.

If you love them, tell them; if you don’t like something they did, tell them.

Being clear and communicative is not just great for a new relationship, but it’s also an ideal way to make a guy interested in you.

Not only will he appreciate you more, but your openness will encourage him to reciprocate.

Some guys are very reserved, but if you’re open, he will feel comfortable opening up to you.

How do I get a boyfriend? Make it work for you

How do I get a boyfriend is a question that women of all ages ask themselves, and it’s one that comes with an easy solution.

There are plenty of options out there. You just need to spend time on yourself, figure out what you desire the most, and then make a move.

Get started by signing up for a Match account. Join a community that includes thousands of single men in your area, many of which will have exactly what you need.

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