Are you ready to move in together with your special someone? Moving in together is definitely a dating milestone, and might seem miles away from when you first messaged each other on dating sites, but once that seed is planted, it usually firmly takes root! It’s a big step, so you need to make sure it’s the right decision for you and your significant other. If you can answer all of the questions below with a resounding “yes!”, you can be sure you’re thinking the right thoughts.
1. Do you often wish you could spend every night together?
When you’re saying your goodnights and you’re about to grab some much needed sleep, do you often, or always, wishfully think about how nice it would be to have the person you’re dating by your side?
2. Do you know your partner well enough?
Dating is often just a part of someone’s life, so before you move in together, make sure you know about other aspects of their life too. You should definitely have met their friends and maybe some family if they’re important to your partner.
3. Have you explicitly defined your relationship?
There can be a lot a grey areas on dating sites, and you definitely need to have had ‘the talk’ where you honestly discuss who you are to each other – e.g. “Am I your boyfriend, and are we exclusive?” – before you move in together
4. Can you afford it?
Living together usually involves actual pesky legal hoops like tenancy agreements which all involve money. Be sure you’re ready to cover at least your share, and understand and accept that you’re both going to be taking a risk on each other when you sign on the dotted line. Plus side: living together is often actually cheaper than living alone!
5. Are you both keen to move in together?
You might not know until you’ve asked – or dropped a hundred leading questions, but it’s absolutely essential that you both do want to move in together. Putting pressure on someone to move is a dangerous move in a relationship – living together will involve compromise and a little sacrifice to make it work, and it’s much more likely to go well if you’re both on the same page.
6. Do you talk about the future together often?
One of the hallmarks of a longer term relationship is how much you chat about your future together. Do you talk about where you want to be – as a couple- in the next few years? If you future’s involve both you and your SO, moving in should feel natural for both of you.
7. Have you had a huge argument which you’ve resolved?
If you regularly have massive blowouts with lengthy frosty follow up periods, moving in might not be the best idea right now. If you can’t stand being with someone when you live apart, imagine how it’d feel if you were living together! If you’ve had a few big disagreements, but managed to resolve them quickly without any real animosity, you’re more ready to face the realities of living together.
8. Are you a little nervous?
Good! Living together is a big deal and will completely change your current routine and lifestyle, so it’s natural and sensible over something you can’t completely control all the variables of, unlike when you’re signing up to dating sites, cooking your dinner or buying a new phone.
9. Have you been on a long holiday together?
Going away for an extended period gives you a glimpse into what it might be like moving in together – you’ll be able to identify any major differences between the pair of you, and evaluate how important they’d be to you in a more permanent situation.
10. Do you already most nights at each other’s places anyway?
Spending time with your SO takes time and energy, so if you’re spending the majority of your time with each other, that’s a good sign you’d be happier living together.
Moving in together is a big step in your relationship, and you should treat it like one too. The days of moving in with your girlfriend/boyfriend being a surefire precursor to engagement are more or less gone, but moving in together is still always a step to becoming more serious than choosing to continue living apart. Moving often signals the beginning of an even better phase of your relationship where you get to know each other more deeply, so once you’ve had a good think about what to do, embrace the experience!