Understanding PDA in Relationships: A Complete Guide

In the world of modern dating, understanding the significance of PDA is crucial. PDA, short for “Public Display of Affection”, encompasses the physical gestures of love and intimacy that couples share in public. From hand-holding and hugging to kissing and embracing, PDA signifies a strong bond and mutual affection between partners. Exploring the true PDA meaning allows couples to embrace their love openly while respecting personal boundaries and societal norms.

What is PDA and What Does It Mean in Love and Dating?

Whether it’s hugging, kissing in public, or holding hands, couples have been publicly showing physical affection to one another for decades, if not centuries; and there’s an array of opinions about what’s considered acceptable and what can make unfortunate onlookers squirm! Take this as an example: seeing a couple kissing by a lake in the park and being next to a couple doing the same thing while stuck in a crowded train would probably create very different opinions about PDA.

Thanks to social media, people can now engage in PDA from literally everywhere in the world, at any time of day. You probably stumble upon these displays of affection every day while browsing your social media channels. Anniversary posts, countless baby photos, proposal videos, and holiday snapshots next to romantic captions are just some examples of what online PDA looks like.

No matter what your opinion is about these displays of affection in public, they’re happening more and more and they’re worth talking about to understand why you’d feel the need to engage in them.

Why Do People Engage in PDA and Online PDA?

Ever since online dating websites and apps have taken the world by storm, there have been major changes in the way people behave when dating. That being said, as much as online dating helps to bring people together and meet their perfect match, it also feeds that little green monster inside all of us called jealousy.

Once that’s awake, several insecurities emerge and people feel the need to keep marking their territory or proving to the internet that they are living their best lives and have an ideal relationship (or at least what the internet considers ‘ideal’). Next thing you know, your social media feed is flooded with lovey-dovey posts and cringey kissing photos.

Now, you may ask yourself, why do people feel the need to involve the internet rather than expressing those feelings to their significant others behind closed doors? The answer varies and often depends on what stage you’re at in a relationship, how secure you feel in it, and which aspects of it you prioritise.

For example, it’s more understandable for couples in their early, passionate days to engage in these displays of affection, and you might even react with the occasional ‘Aww’ when you see posts from them. But the more frequent these posts become, the more unnecessary they seem, and especially in well-established relationships, over-the-top online displays of affection can annoy people or come across as performances instead of genuine feelings.

Why Some People Hate PDA and Others Love It

Whether it’s online or offline, every person is different when it comes to how they express their love in public and how comfortable they are with others being intimate with them. There are usually three factors that indicate an individual’s willingness to engage in PDA in relationships:

Culture

A person’s background and culture is very important when it comes to PDA. If they grew up in a very strict and reserved family, one that spurned hugging, they probably won’t be comfortable displaying affection. It’s not that they don’t want to, but that their upbringing has led them to believe that affectionate behaviour should be kept behind closed doors. If your partner was raised in this manner, they might also be very prudish about sex—while friends laugh, joke, and tell sexual stories, they keep quiet.

Psychology

Constant PDA in a relationship requires a certain degree of exhibitionism. The kissing, the touching, the hand holding—it’s not just about the couple, it’s about everyone watching and everyone who could be watching. This is especially true for online PDA. All of those messages and lovey-dovey exchanges could be sent in private, and it would be just as easy for them to do so, yet they choose to post them where everyone can see.

If you or your partner is much more reserved and private, they may be reluctant to let others see. They don’t want others to study their actions or analyse their words; they want to express themselves to their partner only.

Relationship status

What if there are no cultural reasons for your partner to shy away from PDA, and you know for a fact that they have engaged in similar behaviour with previous partners? In such cases, it could indicate that they are not happy with the relationship and aren’t as committed and comfortable with it as you are.

Maybe they don’t want the world to know that they are with you. Maybe they just haven’t made the same emotional connection that you have, so they feel awkward when you touch and caress them in public. Of course, it could also be that the relationship is new, in which case those feelings may develop at a later date.

Common Myths and Misconceptions About PDA

PDA can cause problems in a relationship, especially if one partner is willing and the other isn’t. Those issues usually stem from a misconception, and there are a few of those concerning PDA:

PDA is uncouth and uncalled for

There is a place for PDA in a civilised society, of course there is. We’re not robots, and this is not Victorian London. If you want to express love with a physical touch in public, do so. Just make sure you’re fully clothed and don’t do anything obscene…

Some couples will intentionally refrain from PDA for fear of being scrutinised. Such is the case for interracial couples or couples with a large age gap. But you shouldn’t let the potential thoughts of others stop you from doing the things you want to do. Most people won’t even notice, and the ones that do notice won’t care. Even if they do, it’s your life and your relationship—do what you want!

A lack of PDA means he doesn’t love me

As discussed already, cultural and psychological issues can prevent some people from displaying affection in public. It doesn’t mean that they don’t love their partner, it just means they’re a little more reserved. It’s normal. Just because you’re willing to engage in PDA and don’t see anything wrong with it doesn’t mean they feel the same way.

More PDA equates to a healthier relationship

PDA is not a good indicator of the strength of a relationship. Not only are some people more reserved, but others will use overly expressive public displays of affection to try and prove to their partner and the world that they are in love, even if that’s not the case.

Conclusion: What does it say about your relationship?

If you constantly feel the need to show off your relationship online or offline, it could be a sign that you’re either feeling insecure about it or that you value your online appearance more than actual quality time with your partner.

Don’t get us wrong! Of course, we’re not suggesting that all public displays of affection should be frowned upon. Just think about how you might be coming across, remember that things are appropriate depending on the context of the situation and your relationship’s health should come first.

So, if you’d like to read more about how you can achieve or maintain a healthy relationship in this online dating world, check out more of our dating advice tips, like Truths About Relationships You Won’t Find On Social Media.

FAQs on PDA in Relationships

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