You might have heard of the “36 questions to fall in love” put together by psychologist Aron Arthur in 1997. These questions supposedly speed up the process of two people falling in love when asked on a date, combined with gazing into each other’s eyes for 4 minutes in silence. This might sound far-fetched (and slightly uncomfortable!), but we think there could be something in it, especially for those who have already got to know each other a little through online dating.
The point of the 36 questions is that they’re conversation starters that get us talking about our deepest desires and other such things that wouldn’t normally be discussed on a casual date. Conversation is the key to falling in love with someone after all – they might have a pretty face but if it’s like talking to a brick wall it won’t work in the long run.
So, in celebration of this concept of sharing more on the first date, we’ve come up with our own version of 36 questions to make you fall in love with someone. Try them out if you’re bored of asking and answering the same old questions on a date. It’s up to you whether you include the 4 minutes of uninterrupted eye contact or give it a miss! Read on for Match’s 36 questions to fall in love:
First 12 questions – keeping it light…
1. What’s your favourite country and why?
2. What qualities do you look for in a friend?
3. Where do you see yourself in 5/10 years time?
4. What’s your favourite meal to cook?
5. What’s your best feature (either physical or personality)?
6. What really makes you laugh?
7. If you could anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?
8. Are you a town or a city person?
9. What’s your most treasured possession?
10. How would you fill your time if you didn’t have to work?
11. If you could have any pet, what would you choose?
12. What’s your earliest memory?
Next 12 questions – becoming more probing…
13. Are you close to your family?
14. What’s one thing you wish you could change about yourself? (either physical or personality)?
15. Tell me about an experience that has shaped who you are today.
16. Describe what it feels like to love someone.
17. What qualities are you looking for in a partner?
18. Do you think you’re intelligent?
19. If you could be famous but had to give up your privacy, what would you choose?
20. How important is money to you?
21. What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?
22. Do you enjoy your job?
23. What one life goal is most important to you? (e.g. having a family, getting rich, having a successful career)
24. Why are you single?
The final 12 questions – talking about each other…
25. Which of your partner’s answers so far have you found the most interesting?
26. If you could ask your partner one more question, what would it be?
27. Do you think your partner is being completely honest?
28. Give your partner 3 meaningful compliments (not just “you look nice”)
29. Where would you take your partner on your next date?
30. What do you think your partner is looking to gain from this date?
31. Do you think you and your partner have enough in common to fall in love? (BONUS QUESTION: Is having things in common even necessary to fall in love?)
32. Can you see yourself having a future with your partner?
33. Would you want your parents to meet your partner (and vice versa!)
34. What would it be like to kiss your partner?
35. Do you think your friends would get on with your partner?
36. Has this been a good date? Have the 36 questions worked??
*STARE INTO EACH OTHER’S EYES FOR 4 MINUTES*
And there you have it, Match’s own version of 36 questions to fall in love. If you really don’t feel comfortable asking any of the questions then, of course, you don’t have to, but we would recommend completing the set for the full experience. Feel free to play around with these – you could even come up with your own version of the 36 questions so you can cut to the chase on dates and work out if it’s going anywhere quickly.
If you’re looking for more dating advice, head to our advice hub and read our guidance on everything from how to write an authentic online dating profile, to how to flirt. Then register for free to start your online dating journey and get started on trying out our 36 questions to fall in love.