Making the first move could be what’s needed to finally bag the man of your dreams but you don’t want to blow it by coming on too strong. Before deciding to take the plunge, here’s a man’s perspective on the pros and cons of you seizing control.
1. Just because we’re a bit slow coming forward doesn’t mean we’re not keen. Even when a date’s going brilliantly, fear of rejection often leaves us hesitant. It can be agonising wondering whether to grab a kiss at the station or taxi rank. When facing this dilemma, a girl who makes the decision for us is a blessing. Make a move and likely as not there’ll be one result – relief all round.
2. We’re not all traditionalists who want to be the boss. A woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to go for it can be a very appealing prospect. So if a girl demands to be taken out for dinner immediately, it may be pushy, but it may also have the desired effect. Win our respect – and our hearts will follow.
3. Like everyone else we love to have our egos massaged. But crucially, asking us out won’t just generate pleasure, it will also generate good will. Butter us up by showing your feelings and we’ll be much more likely to reciprocate. It’s true what they say, flattery will get you everywhere .
4. Sometimes we just don’t know what’s good for us. Often our perfect woman is right under our nose, but we’re completely unable to see it. So if your secret crush won’t get with the programme, telling him could be the answer. Give us a nudge and finally the light bulb might go on.
5. We don’t all thrive on the thrill of the chase. If a woman shows her hand by stealing a kiss, she could unlock our true potential. Once we know where we stand, we’re much more likely to stop wondering whether it’s going well. Instead we’ll be able to properly relax and show you a good time.
1. Assertiveness can be attractive, but if you overstep the mark you may give us the wrong impression. It’s not a good look when a girl makes a move after too many drinks or doesn’t know when to give up. Take it too far and you might do more harm than good.
2. It can be a godsend when a girl takes matters out of our hands. But for super-shy guys a girl who takes the initiative could be intimidating. By making the first move you may come across as too assertive and experienced. If we’re not particularly worldly-wise ourselves, this might be enough to send us running.
3. Just because we go along with something doesn’t mean we’re really interested. For some of us, it might be easier to say yes rather than no, or to kiss back rather than pull away. If you let us make the first move, at least you’ll know we’re not just going with the flow.
4. We have equality in lots of areas of life, but many of us still believe we should lead the way when it comes to dating. If a man is quite traditional, a woman making the first move can be a turn-off.
5. Surprise is not always a good thing. We’re unlikely to be expecting a girl to make a move, and catching us unawares could have unintended consequences. When put on the spot with a proposition, we may come out with an awkward, half-baked response. And if a pair of lips come at us out of the blue, the results could be even worse – a clumsy, painful, head-colliding kiss.