First Date Tips5 minutes

20 flirting tricks that work on real women

Laura, 12 April 2019
20 flirting tricks that work on real women

Flirting may not be rocket science, but a little research can go a long way. If you want to know what flirting strategies really work on women, ask them. Or better still, let us ask them for you.

So, should you be brushing up your chat-up lines, practising your killer eye contact or memorising fistfuls of compliments? Here, according to the women we spoke to, are 20 flirting tricks that actually work.

1. “A little knowing smile while he's looking me in the eye.”

2. “Unusual compliments. Things like 'you're hot' sound really insincere – that's what men say when they're just after a shag with anything female. But if a man pays a compliment that seems really personal to me, like the sound of my laugh, it definitely works! Don't get too personal, though… once a man said he liked how smooth my knees were. We'd never met before! Made my skin crawl.”

3. “Cool confidence. It ain't what you say, it's the way that you say it. If a man comes up to me and says 'I’m sure we’ve met before' in a really nervous, jittery way, he'll seem a bit embarrassing. But it'll seem flirtatious if he says it in a smily, confident way, looking me in the eye – and it'll probably work.”

4. “When he separates you out from the crowd by saying 'let's sit at that table over there' or whatever. It's flattering… it shows that he wants to focus more on you than anyone else.”

5. “When a man licks his lips without realising he's doing it.”

6. “Flirting is all about eye contact. When a guy meets my eye and holds it for just a moment too long, it's almost guaranteed to make me fancy him. I'll be intrigued, anyway. It's like he's bewitched me.”

7. “Laughing at my jokes.”

8. “Friendliness – plain and simple. There's this idea that men should be mean and moody, but that never works on me. If a guy is happy, friendly and interested, it makes me feel like he's enjoying my company, which makes me feel good. And that's kind of the point of flirting.”

9. “When a man babbles nervously because I've bewitched him, haha! Although it only works if I'd found him attractive to start out with. If I didn't fancy him at all I'd just find it annoying. I think that's a really important point about any kind of flirting – you need a bit of mutual attraction to start off with.”

10. “If a man wants to flirt with me, then he's got to find me more interesting than himself. As soon as he starts blabbing about his amazing car or cool job, he's lost me.”

11. “When a guy seems to have loads in common with me. It's so exciting because it feels like you've met a kindred spirit. I'm sure that a really good flirt can make it seem like he's got loads in common with anyone, just by paying really close attention to what she's saying, and picking up on bits that he can relate to. Jedi mind tricks.”

12. “I like it when a guy takes a very obvious detour so he can get a closer look at me.”

13. “He can say whatever he likes – what works on me is when he touches my arm when he goes off to get me a refill. Ooh!”

14. “Being really, really over the top. That's what works on me, anyway… at the time I might be a bit freaked out, but it works because I can't get out of my head for days. At a party in the summer this guy walked up to me and told me that I was the most 'beautiful, exciting thing he'd ever seen'. At the time I thought 'argh,' but I couldn't stop thinking about him afterwards. A few days later I got in touch with him through friends and asked him out.”

15. “When he interrupts the conversation to say that he'd love to kiss me. Can seem cheesy, but in the right context it's incredibly sexy. Don't spoil it by being a really bad kisser.”

16. “Cheesiness can work if it's done in a knowing way. Once I hooked up with a guy who'd spent half an hour looking me up and down and raising his eyebrows. It was like a private joke between us before we'd even said a word to each other. Much funnier than a silly chat-up line.”

17. “When a guy tries not to smile, but can't help himself when he looks at me.”

18. “Popularity always works. I get put off by men who are only hanging around me and no-one else. You want to be fancied my someone who's popular! With my last boyfriend, we met briefly in the kitchen at the start of a party, and then he spent the evening talking to everyone else. He seemed like the most popular guy in the room and it really made me interested. I ended up fancying him loads more than if he'd crowded me all evening.”

19. “Good flirting is when a man tells his mates to buzz off because he's talking to you.”

20. “All I can remember from my last really good date was the bit where he leaned really close to hear what I was saying. I swear he didn't need to. His cheek brushed mine and it sent shivers down my back. In a good way!”

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