The best way to end it
Breaking up is so very hard to do, but if you’re not happy in a relationship it may be the only option available.
But there are ways to soften the blow and make the break-up less traumatic for both of you.
Make it easy on yourself by following these pointers from Kate Taylor, relationship expert at match.com.
1. Think twice
If you want to break up with someone, don’t do it on the spur of the moment or in the heat of an argument, but make sure you think it through carefully beforehand instead. Be very thorough in your approach. Try writing a list of pros and cons of staying in the relationship, ask your friends for their thoughts, and take long walks to think it through. The main question to ask yourself is, ‘Does being in this relationship make me a better person?’ If the answer is a resounding ‘no’, then it might be right to split up.
2. Face the music
Once you’ve made your decision to break up, be sure to do it in person. If you feel you might cry and waiver in the face of your partner’s tears, write a letter beforehand stating why you feel it’s right to break up. But give them the letter face-to-face. Not only is it the decent thing to do, it will make the ending seem more real – and final – for your partner.
3. This too shall pass
Be prepared to want to change your mind immediately. While it’s awful to be dumped, it’s worse to be the dumper, because the entire responsibility sits on your shoulders. Your thoughts will whirl for a week or so afterwards, and your now ex will appear to be totally irreplaceable all of a sudden. But don’t act on these thoughts – just wait for them to pass, and they probably will.
4. Fingers on lips
Don’t spill your soul on social media. If you have friends in common, they will keep your ex updated on your newly jubilant Facebook updates or joyous Relationship Status changes, and it will hurt them. Maintain a dignified public silence for a month or so, and tread carefully with any subsequent announcements.
5. Let them move on up
Don’t keep checking in with your ex-partner, saying you want to make sure they’re OK. They’re OK. Or they’ll get to OK faster if you leave them alone to get over you. Every text or call you initiate will give them false hope of reconciliation, and stop them moving forwards.