While a break up itself is hard, one of the most difficult processes any person can go through is getting over someone they once loved. How do you get over the person who used to know you best, who you did everything with and who you thought you’d spend the rest of your life with?
There’s no easy answer to this question: everyone is different and reactions to a break up can vary from moving on rapidly with someone else, to being a shadow of your former self for months afterwards. We want to give you some helpful tips on how to make the process of getting over your ex easier. Read on and you should find some advice that will help you if you’re stuck on how to get over a guy:
1. Realise that things will get better.
It’s essential that you don’t get caught in a downward spiral of moping and not allowing yourself to move on. If you stay at home alone day in, day out you’ll constantly be thinking about your ex and the break up. Of course, everyone needs a few duvet days post-break up, but don’t allow this to turn into duvet weeks or months. Make an effort to get out of the house, or if you can’t face that quite yet, get your loved ones round to keep you company while you rebuild yourself.
2. Focus on the positives of the break up.
It might not seem like it now, but this is for the best. Maybe you were constantly arguing with your ex before the break up? Now your life is argument-free and you’re not constantly on edge. Maybe you spent a lot of time with him when you were together? Now you can fill all of that time with exciting new hobbies, seeing friends and vital self-care. There’s a reason for your break up, so don’t dwell on the sadness. Focusing on the good that’s come out of it will allow you to shift your perspective and should speed up the healing process.
3. Be grateful for the time you had together.
This one may be tricky depending on the circumstances of your break up and is often a long process. It can be hard not to look back on a relationship with resentment, especially if it ended with hard feelings on both sides. But seeing your past relationship this way will just make the healing process harder. You don’t want to end up feeling as if all of the time you spent together was a waste. Look at it this way: you were happy, something changed, and then you broke up because you weren’t happy any more. Even if you hurt each other towards the end, there must have been some good times. Don’t allow anger to swallow these up because of the ways things ended – this will only make you bitter.
4. Get away from it all.
A break up is the perfect excuse for a holiday, or even to leave your troubles behind for longer and head off travelling. A holiday will allow you to spend some quality time with your girls, have lots of drinks, eat delicious food and perhaps even indulge in a holiday romance to distract you from your break up woes. Going travelling is an even bigger way to escape your troubles: you’ll constantly be meeting new people and discovering new places, meaning you won’t have time to think about what you’ve left behind.
5. Get your teeth into a project.
It could be literally anything! Think about what you’ve been meaning to do over the years but have never got around to. Always wanted to run a half marathon (or even a full one)? Now’s the time to start training and see it through. Have you been thinking about volunteering somewhere for years? Sit down, do some research and commit to doing something good. Having something to work towards is another way of distracting yourself from thinking about your ex. Doing something like this could genuinely improve your life in the long term. Use the break up as the perfect excuse to try something new and make the most of your free time.
6. Don’t rush back into dating.
It’s important to only start dating again when you know that you’re not simply doing it to get over your ex. Be careful when you involve other people’s feelings! Getting into a rebound relationship straight after a break up is also risky as you can end up pushing the negative feelings to the back of your mind and not dealing with them fully, as you have an immediate distraction. Then if things don’t work out again you’ll have double whammy of post break up sadness to deal with.
7. When you are ready, register for free with Match.
You’ll discover a huge pool of eligible singles all eager to get involved in online dating. Match allows you to get to know potential dates a bit before you actually meet up. This means you’ll get a good idea of whether or not you’re compatible. You can also filter your searches by dozens of different criteria, so you’re guaranteed to find someone who has exactly what you’re looking for. You should also put yourself out there in terms of offline dating. Find out if your friends know any single hunks and make sure you’re on the lookout when you’re out and about. You never know when you’ll meet the man of your dreams!
Now that you’ve learnt how to get over a guy, register for free today to start your dating journey. Check out our dating advice for more helpful guidance on everything from how to tell if someone likes you to how to flirt.