When you finally take the plunge and move in with your man, there are a few things which might take you by surprise, and the following relationship advice is aimed at helping you through these little surprises. No matter how much time you’ve spent together, the day-to-day reality of living with your loved one can turn out to be a little trickier than you might have imagined. Here are three of the main pitfalls you might come across when you move in with your man and how to deal with them so neither of you get too cross!
1. Divide up the housework
As hard as we try to not let it get to us, this almost always becomes a bugbear for one or both members of a couple. But if you find it hard to get your man to take responsibility for household duties, all is not lost. Thanks to ‘the Jamie effect’, or Jamie Oliver’s miraculous revolutionizing of cookery, men now think that cooking is cool, and as a woman it can be wise to take advantage of this. In other areas, a good piece of relationship advice is to praise good work such as taking out the bins highly, because once he knows it’s appreciated he’ll be more keen to do it. A common mistake is to get disproportionately irate that a task has not been carried out – this is only likely to lead to long-term disgruntlement on both sides.
2. Sort out the finances
Many break-ups occur as a result of disagreements over finances, and the recession has only increased the likelihood that this will become a sticking point, so it’s good relationship advice to get this sorted out early on. Some couples find a good solution is to agree on a set amount each has to contribute to a joint account each month, and this will pay for joint costs such as household bills and holidays. Meanwhile, each person can keep a little something back in their personal account so they can treat themselves without the other getting annoyed. If this relationship advice is not for you then agree on a different approach. As long as you both agree and you keep to your strategy, financial disputes should be kept to a minimum.
3. Spend time apart
We’ve all heard the saying ‘familiarity breeds contempt’, well, when it comes to living together, you’ll become very, very familiar with you man. So much so, it can sometimes seem like they’re a part of the furniture. Some relationship advice here: avoid this pitfall and keep things fresh in your relationship by spending quality time apart, as well as together. You might benefit from joining a club or taking up a sport which will give you some breathing space. Other ways to spend time apart include making sure you have a good set of friends who you can disappear with for a good chat once in a while. This way, when you get back home to your man, you’ll be able to see him again as the wonderful, complicated being he is and not just that guy who’s always there!