It was so much easier when we were younger, right? You could get a friend to ask him whether he liked you in the schoolyard, and you would get an answer right away. Well, those days are gone, and sometimes guys can be tough to read on dating websites. To make matters even worse, in a global city like London people have different backgrounds, and can react in very different ways. It is hard to know what they really mean. French men, for instance, are usually quite forward, and if they like you, you’d know right away. British men can be a bit shy and wait forever before they consider making a move. Some men only open up when drunk. In short, there are no general rules. But I believe that, wherever you are and whomever you have a crush on, there is a telltale sign that will help you know in no uncertain terms whether he likes you.
What is it? Well, it’s called kindness. What do I mean? Well, it is easy: you just need to ask yourself whether he is kind to you. Kindness can be shown in many different ways: he replies to texts, emails and messages, he doesn’t stand you up, he is genuinely concerned about what happens to you, he respects your choices, and supports you. He is attentive without being intrusive. He is there for you, but not in a pushover sort of way. I believe that kindness is an overlooked quality. Nowadays everything seems to be about instant gratification and quantifiable results. We tend to forget that good things take time to build, and go far beyond fake smiles and well-rehearsed pickup lines.
What I also mean is that kindness isn’t to always be nice, but to act nice. There is a difference: actions speak louder than words anyway, don’t you think? When I presented this theory to my friends, I am not sure that they bought into it. They told me complicated things about watching his body language, playing hard to get and noticing his eye contact. It all sounded a bit complicated, if you ask me. They also said that a friend could be kind, and that what I was describing was more the behaviour of a friend. Really? I started scratching my head, and eventually came to the conclusion that there are acts of kindness that simply shout that he is in love with you – you just have to see them for yourself.
What are they? It’s hard to say. But here are a few examples I can think of:
1. He is the only one to laugh at your jokes. Well, it means that he gets your sense of humour when nobody else does.
2. You have made a dent to his car/motorbike/bicycle/whatever and his first question is whether you are OK. For a guy, that’s pretty much a love declaration.
3. He pretends he doesn’t like chocolate and lets you have his. (For the record, that’s something I would never do for a guy. Never.)
4. He has remembered an indie band you briefly mentioned and invites you to their next gig. Just like that.
5. He misses an important rugby, football or cricket match to celebrate your birthday.
6. He insisted on picking you up at the airport or at the train station and waits for you despite the fact that you are more than two hours late.
7. He is not too nice, so that you know that he’s being honest too and that you can trust his advice. For instance, he will tell you if you’ve forgotten to do up your buttons or zip or maybe even offer some advice about your outfit.
Finally, if you are still unsure of whether he likes you, why don’t you just ask him? After all, if he is kind, he will tell the truth. Come on, just do it. At least you will know where you stand, and that’s the whole point, right?