Don’t you just love it when old flames get back together?
Be warned though; winning your ex back is a complicated matter. It’s not like dating someone brand new. And you can’t just camp out on their doorstep with a rose between your teeth and hope for the best. First, you need a pretty good idea that they want you back.
Don’t ring up and ask them – that’s far too likely to end in tears. Instead, do your detective work. If you spot more than a few of these 10 signs in your ex, it’s a fair bet that they want another chance.
1. They try to make you jealous
If your ex spends their evenings stuffing the internet with photos of them partying wildly, they’re pretending to be better off without you – and they want to make you jealous.
Your poor ex is trying too hard. They might as well post an entire photo gallery of themselves wearing a PLEASE TAKE ME BACK T-shirt. If they really were having that much fun, they’d be too busy to upload the photos.
2. They call or text to see how you are
“I just wanted to see how you’re doing” does not mean “I just wanted to see how you’re doing.” It means “I just wanted to hear your sweet voice and oh God I can’t believe I let you go,” or thereabouts.
3. They phone you to moan about work
So they’re not going out with you anymore, but when they have a rubbish day at work, you’re the person they ring for a whinge.
This may be because yours was the first number in the list, or because they trust your judgement, or because they like it when you slag off their boss, or because they wanted an excuse to talk to you. All of which mean: “because they miss you.”
4. They want to meet for a drink
Sounds obvious, but this one doesn’t necessarily mean that they want a reconciliation. If you’re still dividing belongings or involved in other break-up admin, you’ll need to meet to get things sorted.
But if there’s no reason other than “I thought you might fancy a drink,” your ex has a more personal agenda.
However, don’t get whipped into false hopes. There’s always the chance that they’re meeting you to make sure that they don’t want you back.
5. You can’t stop bumping into each other
This isn’t coincidence. If they’d moved on from you, they wouldn’t make such an effort to haunt your regular stomping grounds.
If when you bump into each other they’re a shy nervous wreck, it means that they still care about what you think of them. If they were over you, they wouldn’t care less.
6. They don’t try to find someone new
After a break-up it’s natural to start fancying other people and, hopefully, dating them. But if your ex seems unable to pick themselves up and get out there, it’s probably because you’re still the only one they want to be with.
Alternatively, it’s because you’ve put them off relationships for life.
7. They immediately find someone new, and tell everyone
Don’t believe a word of it. If there’s been barely any breathing space between you and this new lover, either they were dating behind your back (let’s hope not) or it’s a rebound fling and your ex has ulterior motives.
Almost anyone who starts a relationship immediately after a break-up is trying to get over their heartache, or flaunting someone as a way to make you jealous.
8. They won’t get off your web space
An ex who keeps leaving comments on your social networking pages is not an ex who’s willing to go quietly. Of course, they may just feel guilty about dumping you, and genuinely want to be friends. Or they may still fancy you. One for you to work out.
9. Their friends ask what’s going on between you
When your ex’s behaviour prompts friends to wonder whether you two are still on a joint ticket to lustville, pay attention.
A real ex would be able to share space with you, and even be friends, without prompting any tittle-tattle. But when their behaviour prompts nudging and winking, it’s probably because they’re acting like a love-struck teenager. In other words, they’re just not that over you.