I’ve Started Dating Again: Should I Tell My Ex?

You’ve told your friends, you’ve introduced them to your family – and now the whole world knows just how smugly in love you are with your significant other. However, there’s one person that doesn't know you've moved on: your ex. After keeping out of each other’s way over several months to finally start communicating amicably, is telling them you’re in a new relationship an amicable subject?

Is it any of their business?

You've recently shared some brief exchanges covering the generic topics including work, family, holidays and/or new hobbies – but these kind of matters are what many consider to be ‘safe content’. Venturing into a minefield of emotions such as divulging details of a new partner could bring up a number of problems – for instance, it may have been a particularly acrimonious breakup, and it’s only now that your ex is getting used to talking to you again. It’s always difficult weighing up this kind of situation – there are far more cons than there are pros, and while it may be positive news on your part, chances are your ex might think you’re just rubbing this in their face.

Part of you may feel obligated to let your ex know about your new relationship because if the shoe was on the other foot, you’d like them to do the same – but be honest: would you REALLY want to hear that your ex has met someone new? Remember, this was someone you once cared about who cared for you too – and if you’re only just about on speaking terms, the last thing you want to do is jeopardise a chance of a friendship by burning bridges. Parading the fact you’ve got a new partner to your ex makes you appear selfish and thoughtless, and believe me, these are two traits that can destroy any friendship – regardless of the parties involved.

When the timing is right

Some people leave their newly updated relationship status on Facebook to do the talking, while others let word of mouth spread the news. Tackling the subject of a new relationship with your ex is never easy, so the only thing you can do is to not make it harder than it already is. If a considerable amount of time has passed and your ex still doesn’t know, then leave it be. For all you know, they probably found out months ago – and if your friendship’s working so far without the need to bring up this subject, then don’t fix something that’s not broken. After all, maybe it’s about starting over to create something better – your new-found friendship.