The new year awaits; countless singles looking for love, dates to plan, introductions to be and made at brunch rendezvous to late-nights in bars, it’s all waiting for you! Here are the 20 new rules of dating you need to follow in 2018:
1. Make the first move.
Stop dithering! No matter who you are or who you’re asking, stop waiting for that perfect moment and put yourself out there.
2. Stop trying to think what they’re thinking.
Does he like girls like you? Does she like shorter guys? Will he share your love for room-temperature-greek-yoghurt? You’ll never know unless you ask and find out. Stop the mental gymnastics, chat and learn.
3. Don’t ghost, but be transparent.
If you have a change of heart, let the people you’re chatting to know, especially if they ask.
4. Be interested, not invested.
Especially in the early stages your first few messages and dates. Focus on getting to know each other more deeply, but don’t set unrealistic expectations in your own mind. People, and their personal expectations, come in all shapes and sizes.
5. Stop curating, and live your life.
Profiles and appearances are important, but your online persona shines most brightly when it comes from you genuinely enjoying being in your own skin.
7. Be a better listener.
You’re not stuck in your 1000th irrelevant internal meeting of the week. It’s essential that you listen carefully on dating sites and ask the right questions to get to know your date better.
6. You don’t owe anyone a date.
If you know something just isn’t clicking, follow your heart. Them being a kind and lovely person isn’t enough. In the long run, it’s better for you both anyway.
7. Confidence is sexy.
Ignorance and arrogance aren’t. Believe in yourself, and know why you believe in yourself.
8. It’s okay to be selfish.
Dating sites are about you, and finding what makes you happy, not anyone else. Don’t settle.
9. You can’t make someone like you.
And that’s okay. There are so many singles out there looking for love, don’t waste time on ships that have sailed.
10. Be honest about what you want, even if you don’t know.
Nailing down what a relationship is has never been more tricky. Don’t trap yourself, or the person you’re dating, by panicking and not being honest about what you think you want from a relationship.
11. Be charming to everyone to prep for your dates.
If you’ve never made a chocolate soufflé, it’s unlikely your first shot will perfect (or your 5th…trust me). So if you only turn on your charm when you’re actually on a date, it’s not likely that it’ll be just right either. Practice being charming or a little flirty in your everyday life, and you’ll see an immediate effect on your dating life.
12. Coffee is the perfect first date.
Casual ✓ Good conversation location ✓ Varied, cheap & convenient ✓ Great people watching ✓ Caffeine ✓
13. Put your phone away.
It’s a fact of life that most of us are probably addicted to PMs, group chats, memes and irrelevant news stories. However, you’re doing yourself a disservice if you can’t drag yourself away from your device during a date – it makes you look bored, and you’ll never get to know someone new that way.
14. ‘Fashionably late’ isn’t a thing.
Show some respect. Have a modicum of forethought and plan your arrival for a few minutes before your date time.
15. Your date will (almost definitely) find you online.
Unless you’ve been making a supreme effort to keep yourself offline, a few quick searches of your dating sites name will probably bring up your LinkedIn, Facebook etc. profile, so make sure these are up to date, and not harbouring any photos best left in the past…
16. Waiting rules are dead and gone.
The three-day rule? Don’t text immediately after an amazing date? These ancient games are history. It’s a reality that lots of people dating in 2018 will be interested in a lot of other available singles, so seize the moment to make a good impression.
17. Set up a first date, or stop messaging
Once you’ve shared a few messages (not weeks of back-and-forth) set up a real life date. Online dating is perfect for connecting you with singles, but you have to follow up and meet in person – don’t waste your time with someone you might not have any in-person chemistry with.
18. Have sex if you want, whenever you want.
If you’re both into it, go for it. Intimacy is an important part of relationships, and it should be treated as such.
19. Don’t talk about your ex.
Or how hard 2017 was. Be forward thinking, and the person you’d like to be with your next partner.
20. Stay nimble.
Don’t be restrained by your ‘type’. Go on that bar that’s slightly-out-of-your-comfort-zone. Organise a date for the same night you started chatting. Push your limits, and discover who’s out there!