First date nerves? Darren from Datingpriceguide.co.uk has some suggestions for you to help get the conversation going.
Whilst there are no hard and fast rules about what makes a good conversation starter, or exactly what questions to ask in order to get your date to open up to you, I’ve put together a solid list of suggestions to help get that conversational fire burning with your date. These will help get you through the sometimes awkward first few minutes of a date and on to the real conversation.
The aim of a first date isn’t to impress but to see if you and your date have a connection, so it’s important not to think of your first date as a nerve wracking interview, but a step closer to finding someone you might want to spend more time with.
The questions below will give you some ideas to help identify if the person sat opposite you is indeed the person you want to spend a cold Saturday night curled up watching Netflix with. Feel free to adapt them to your situation and interests, and remember to actively listen to their responses to build a deeper conversation.
“Out of all the places you’ve visited, where was your favourite?”
This often reveals the type of holiday your date appreciates and how adventurous they are. Do they aspire to travel to distant lands with a backpack on or is a week in Rome more their thing? Are they happy laid on a beach or would they prefer a ski trip to Austria? Travel experiences and dreams can tell you a lot about what someone prioritises and values in life.
“What do you do when you have a couple hours to spare?”
This often evokes an honest answer from your date and their response can tell you a lot about their real self as opposed to their manicured online profile. Maybe they’ll dash out for a quick run, stick on re-runs of Friends, whip up a batch of cookies, read classical literature or watch videos of laughing goats online. Whatever the answer, you can go on to find out why they find whatever they do interesting and see if their thinking matches with yours.
“Are your family from around here too?”
Family is important to a lot people people, and as such, dates often love to share their thoughts on their closest relations – it also gives a break from talking about themselves or you for a few minutes! How your date talks about the people closest to him or her can reveal a lot about a person and the relationships they have with important people in their lives.
“How do you feel about (your passion)?”
This can help see how initially compatible you two might be. If your passion is something that you share, this can be a great sign of things to come, but definitely don’t write them off if it isn’t. What’s more important is seeing how they react to your interest. This also gives you a great chance to share with your date lots about your own passions, motivations and goals and see how they respond.
To take the date to another level, check out this further list of questions that you can ask potential dates that will evoke deep, meaningful answers and give you an insight into the person you are with. Remember, it’s their answers you should be curious about, not merely rattling off questions interview style. Don’t rush. Ask intelligent questions and follow up with relevant queries, and don’t forget to talk about yourself.