Sarah Louise Ryan is a Dating & Relationship expert shortlisted for Dating Expert 2016 at the UK Dating Awards. Blogging about love, heartbreak and relationships, Sarah often writes listicles and waxes lyrical as a life hack to your love life and finding the relationship you so deserve.
We’re all constantly hearing how communication is key and trust me, it is; especially when it comes to building a strong bond in a relationship. However, in the world of online dating it’s essential to stand out from the crowd.
“Being confident in your communication to secure that first date with your potential special someone is the real key.”
Confidence is attractive, so here’s a few top tips to be above the average single in self-esteem:
1. Think positive
If you had a great day at work then this is the perfect time to get messaging those great ‘potentials’ online. You attract what you put out into the world and so if you are oozing happiness and positive energy after a successful day at the office, or a nice weekend with friends, then this is the perfect time to message those you have matched with. Everyone wants to date someone who is positive; after all ‘happy’ is the most attractive trait!
2. Give them something to talk about
Take a good look at your profile pictures. Do you think you have a talking point anywhere? Have you portrayed a strong interest in something or shown yourself busy doing an activity that you love? The thing about online dating is that we are putting ourselves out there to a pool of strangers all looking to find their special someone. It can be tough especially if you find yourself attracting dozens of potentials; you have to decide who you may or may not have huge amounts in common with. Think about your dating snaps and if the kind of person you want to attract would be interested in what you’re doing in your profile pictures.
3. Be interested…not just interesting
A great potential partner may contact you to talk about all those interesting things in your profile. He or she may have lots of questions for you, so it would seem at this stage you have indeed sparked a series of intrigue. However, it’s important to self-check if you are asking lots of questions about them too; are you portraying a level of interest in them and their interests? It can be very easy in the busy hustle and bustle of the day to get wrapped up in one’s own business, but remember to be interested, not just super duper interesting.
4. Getting straight to the date, scary I know!
Whilst it’s great to get to know people online before meeting for that all important first date, don’t chat to your match for excessive amounts of time. As genuine as people may be in looking for the same things as you, it can be very easy to accumulate a long list of pen-pals. Put yourself out there and talk about an actual date as soon as the opportunity arises. Whilst it’s great to chat, helps boost your confidence and theirs and lets you get to know someone a little bit better, I would really recommend an exchange of around 5 messages each before getting to grips with when you are going to meet. Meeting enables you to see if you are really a great match, after all, you have to meet in person to see if sparks fly and if chemistry really is in the air between you two.
5. Build rapport before your date
If you’ve discovered you may have a common interest or two, then be sure to tell them and suggest you can’t wait to hear more about it on the date. Your match will feel comfortable and you’ll feel confident that you have enough to talk about to build the momentum on that first meeting. First date nerves can sometimes get in the way of the real you and so as long as you have a few talking points in mind then you might find either way you will have a fabulous time with your potential.
We’re no strangers to understanding that we attract what we give out, so once we decide to try and set nerves aside in online dating we’re able to put forward the more positive and confident side of our personalities; hopefully this will help us find the missing piece to our love-life puzzle! Be your most confident self and you may find that you reap the results in meeting your match.
Get more advice on The Three Things You Need To Be Successful At Dating and Online Dating: What Do You Really Want?